


The Box

by Saysemmi



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-02-28 13:18:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13272234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saysemmi/pseuds/Saysemmi
Summary: Clarke sat up in the small bed, ran her fingers through her long blonde hair and looked down at the little bundle still curled in the blankets next to her. “Mommy?” The bundle of blankets shifted, a curly blonde head popping out from under the blanket. The little girl had long blonde hair with wild loose curls, deep caramel brown eyes that lit up whenever her gaze landed on Clarke. Smiling brightly, the little girl climbed out of bed and started saying good morning to every piece of furniture they had in the small space that Clarke had come to know as hell, or as Lily called it, Box.Ratings and warnings may change.





	1. The Plan

Clarke sat up in the small bed, ran her fingers through her long blonde hair and looked down at the little bundle still curled in the blankets next to her. She knew she couldn’t let this continue going on any longer than it already had. She tried to get off the small bed without it creaking, but failed.

“Mommy?” The bundle of blankets shifted, a curly blonde head popping out from under the blanket. The little girl had long blonde hair with wild loose curls, deep caramel brown eyes that lit up whenever her gaze landed on Clarke. Smiling brightly, the little girl climbed out of bed and started saying good morning to every piece of furniture they had in the small space that Clarke had come to know as hell, or as Lily called it, Box.

Shaking her head slowly at her daughter, she moved to the other side of the room where her limited kitchen appliances were and took out the stuff to make eggs and toast. The little girl finished her morning round by hugging her mother saying happily, "Good morning Mommy."

"Good morning Lily." Clarke knew that she had to start trying to get out again. She couldn't let Lily grow up in this box. She deserved better.

Clarke had cracked a few weeks ago after Finn had been especially rough, he had really done a number on her. The morning after she had snapped, and she had yelled at Lily, who was only five. And-she hadn't meant to yell at her or scare her. But she couldn't keep living like this. Once she had started yelling, she couldn’t stop herself. She told Lily the truth. That there was more just beyond the four walls that surrounded them. After she had calmed down, she had pulled Lily close, apologizing for yelling, but gently explained that they hopefully weren't going to live in the box forever, and that there was so much more for them to see.

Since then Clarke had a few vague ideas on how to get her daughter out, she could deal with it if she had to stay. As long as Lily was out, and safe, that's all that mattered to her. She could spend the rest of her days here as long as her daughter was free.

They spent the day as they normally did, they cleaned, making sure everything was in its place, Lily read out loud while Clarke made them lunch, they did basic stretches and Clarke got Lily her exercise by having her run from one side of their small space to the other which the little girl always loved. They played a few games before dinner, and then they have bath time after they've cleaned up from their meal. Sometimes they'd take their baths together, and sometimes Clarke would bathe while Lily watched TV. She missed showers, but baths were better than nothing.

Once she had gotten Lily in her pajamas for the night, she tucked the little girl into her bed in the wardrobe. "Time to sleep now, Lily." Clarke always had her daughter start the night in the wardrobe so she wouldn't be around, in the wardrobe was a far away from him as Clarke could manage, when Finn came in. Standing up Clarke started closing the doors.

"Mama?" She stopped and crouched down again. "How big is the world?" Clarke couldn't help but smile. The days she told Lily the truth, Lily didn’t believe her. The little girl thought she was lying. Tomorrow, she would try and get Lily out. Her little girl deserved to see the world.

"It's very, very big. A lot more than here in Box." Nodding sleepily, Lily closed her eyes. Standing up once again, Clarke closed the doors to the wardrobe.

Finn had showed up less than an hour later. He had food with him this time, it'd been almost two weeks since he had brought them food and they were almost out of everything. They didn't talk much that night but he reminded her, every time he came, that she was his, that Lily was his. She wanted to object, but knew she had to stay silent.

When he finally left Clarke threw her legs over the side of the bed and sighed. Wearily standing up, she went over to the wardrobe and carefully picked up Lily, bringing her over to the bed. Lily instinctively curled up against her mother as Clarke finally fell asleep.

Lily was up first the next morning. Climbing out of bed, she started walking around and saying good morning to everything in the room. Tripping over the edge of the rug on her way to say good morning to the bath tub, Lily fell, waking up her mother. "Lily?" Worry laced Clarkes voice.

"The rug made me fall." Lily got to her feet and pointed to where the rug had bubbled up a bit at the edge. "Bad rug." She stuck her tongue out at it.

Forcing a smile Clarke got up to start some breakfast. She wanted this to be their, or at least Lily's, last breakfast here.

At lunch Clarke told Lily her plan, and when they were finished eating they went through it.

Lily was laying on her back, on the bed. "You need to be loose, like jello, okay Lily?" The girl nodded, staying super loose when Clarke moved each of her limbs and picked her up.

"Good girl," Clarke praised as she laid her daughter back on the bed, fondly brushing her blonde curls out of her face.

"What do you do when you get to the hospital?" Clarke was kneeling next to the bed, watching her daughter get ready for the performance of her little life.

Lily pulled the note out of her pocket, holding it up for her mom to see. "I give this to the doctor, but I don't let Finn see." Clarke smiled at her daughter.

"Good, and if there's people around when he's carrying you to his truck?" Lily thought for a moment before answering.

"I yell for help, and tell them the bad man has me and, and…” Lily frowned, she couldn't remember what else she was supposed to say.

"My mom is Clarke Griffin." Clarke reminded her. "Tell me again what you say if you see someone on your way to the truck."

"I yell for help and tell them the bad man has me and my mom is Clarke Griffin." Clarke ran her fingers through her little girls hair, proud of her for remembering all this.

"Okay, now we need to make you sick," Clarke got up off the floor, moving to the sink and turned on the hot water before looking for a towel.

"I'm scared, Mommy." Clarke paused and sighed, looking at the floor with her hands braced on the edge of the sink. "I know, but you need to be brave.” Clarke needed her daughter to be as brave as possible.

"You're going to make me sick?" Clarke looked back to the bed where Lily was sitting up, watching Clarke carefully.

"No," Clarke took the wet towel and turned off the water before going back to the bed. “I’m going to make you look sick, so you’re going to have to be all jello-y, okay?” Lily nodded slowly as her mom pressed the hot towel to her cheeks and forehead.

“Ouch, Mama, that hurts.” Clarke frowned, hating that she was hurting her baby, hated that she was trying to send her off alone with Finn.

It had to be done though.

“I know, but you need to be hot. If it seems like you have a fever Finn will have to take you to the hospital.” Lily whimpered in pain only moments before the metallic beeps sounded and the door opened.

Clarke jerked to her feet in surprise, shoving the towel in her back pocket. “Finn!” He was there earlier than usual, but that was going to work in their favor. “Finn, Lily’s sick. She’s had a fever all day.” Her cheeks and forehead were pink.

“Let me see her,” Lily whimpered when Finn put the back of his hand on her forehead. Trying to make herself smaller.

“Damn, the kid’s on fire.” He stated, pulling his hand back.

“She hasn’t had anything to eat or drink all day either. I’m worried she’s dehydrated.” Finn frowned and ran a frustrated hand through his shaggy brown hair. “I guess I’m going to have to take her to the hospital.”

“Please, I don’t want to lose her, I don’t want her to die.” Clarke fell to her knees dramatically, acting like she was begging him.

“Please Finn!”

Finn groaned, acting like it’s such a hard task. “Fine, I’ll take the little bitch to the hospital. I wouldn’t be playing nice with you if she didn’t have my blood in her.” And with that he bent down and scooped up the little girl. Lily whimpered in protest, looking at her mom.

“I’ll be back with her later tonight.” When the door closed behind him, Clarke sighed in relief. The hard part was done. Lily was outside. He can’t hurt her in public. Lily had a chance. Clarke believed in her daughter, her brave daughter.

Now, all she could do, was wait.


	2. Finally

Lily laid in Finns arms, loose like jello, just like her mom had told her to. She jiggled with every step that Finn took. She looked around a little, curious and scared at the same time. She wanted her mom. Lily started screaming as loud as she could when she saw someone walking on the sidewalk. "Help! Help me!" 

Lily started squirming, fighting to get out of Finns arms. She didn't like him because he was mean to Mommy, and he is the one that kept them locked in Box.

"Help! The bad man has me!" The stranger crossed the street and started walking towards them. Lily kicked her feet causing Finn to loosen his hold enough for her to pull the note out of her pocket, reaching to the stranger as he got closer, trying to give it to him. "Don't let him hurt my mommy!" 

"What's going on here?" The man asked once he was standing next to Finns truck. He reached out and took the note from Lily before Finn could take it from her. 

"Help, don't let him hurt me!" Lily hit Finn with her little fists but it had no effect. He was a lot bigger than her

"Nothing man, just move along." Finn said, opening the door to the back seat of his truck and putting Lily in before slamming the door. 

"Hey, shouldn't she have a car seat?" The man asked as he read the note, 'HELP' written in bright red letters. He thumbed his phone out of his back pocket and covertly called the police station.

"Help! Help me!” Lily had her hands pressed against the window, hitting it with her palms. “He’s mean to me."

"That's enough, be _quiet_!" Finn hissed at her through the window before moving to get into the front seat. 

"Now wait a minute, she seems pretty upset and she's not even buckled. That's not very safe-" Finn stepped up to the other man.

“Mommy!” Where was her mom?

"She's not your kid man, so get the hell outta here!" Finn growled before opening the door to the front seat. 

"Help! Help!" She was banging on the window with her little fists, tears streaming down her face, terrified. She didn't want to go with Finn. She just wanted her mom. "Mama!"

"Look, I know its none of my business, but I have a soft spot for kids." Now he was just trying to buy some time and keep Finn from leaving, the station wasn't far away and with any luck the police would be there soon. "At least let me buckle her up, you don't want her getting hurt now, do you?" 

Without giving Finn a chance to object, he opened the back door, Lily almost tumbling out of the truck, and he caught her.

“Hey! Get your filthy hands off my kid!" Finn hollered as he climbed back out of the truck.

Lily curled into the arms of the stranger, just happy to be away from Finn for the moment. She didn’t want to be near him.

"He's gonna hurt me," Lily whispered.

"It's okay sweetie," he started only to be interrupted by the sounds of police sirens. It was then that Finn turned and took off running, not wanting to get caught by the police. The stranger put her feet on the ground and Lily sat on the pavement, knees pulled to her chest with tears streaming down her face as the cars stopped across the foot of the driveway. 

Lily watched as the stranger walked over to the cars with the flashing lights where even more strangers appeared. He never took his eyes off her. They all talked quietly for a moment before one of the new strangers came and crouched in front of her. "Hi sweetie, what's your name?" Lily stayed silent and buried her face in her knees. 

The officer pulled out the note that Lily had given to the strange man. "Did you write this?" Looking up just a little bit, Lily shook her head, tears still falling. 

"Did dad write this?" Again she shook her head, sniffling softly. 

"Was it mom?" Lily nodded slowly and wiped her eyes with her sleeve only for new tears to replace the old ones. "Do you know moms name?" Lily shook her head, she couldn't remember. She couldn’t remember what her mom told her to say.

"I forget," she whispered ever so quietly. Mommy was going to be so upset with her.

"Do you know where she is?" Lily pointed back the way Finn had carried her.

The officer stood and looked around for a moment before crouching down to pick Lily up. "I'm going to have you sit in my car for a few minutes so you’ll be safe okay?" Lily didn't respond but tensed once she was in the new strangers arms, scared. 

The officer put her in the back seat of the cruiser while he gave orders to the other officers before shutting the door and following them. Lily was once again trapped and unable to get out. So she started screaming again. "Help! Mommy, help!" She was scared and just wanted her mom. 

"Mommy!" She was full out sobbing again. "Mommy!" 

~~~

Clarke paced back and forth across Box that had been her personal hell for six years now. She figured it would be a few hours at least before she could even _hope_ for someone to come and find her. So Clarke was well beyond surprised when there was a banging at the door barely a half hour after Finn had left with Lily. 

Running to the door, she started banging her fists against it, when the door suddenly moved under her fist. She stepped back, and the next thing she knew the door had been pried open and off it’s hinges. "Are you okay?" 

Clarke nodded frantically, scrambling towards the open door. "Where's Lily, where's my daughter?"

The same officer that spoke to Lily put a hand on her shoulder, "Miss, I'm Officer Miller. Your daughters safe. Can you tell me your name?" 

The name 'Miller' rang a distant bell with Clarke but she couldn't care less about it at the moment. "Clarke Griffin. Finn Collins kidnapped me six years ago. Now I need to get to my daughter!" Officer Miller nodded and guided Clarke out of the shed, and to the front of the house where she saw her daughters face through the window of a cruiser. 

Clarke ran, she threw open the car door and pulled Lily to her, so grateful that she wasn't hurt. Lily had done it, they were free. "I got you Lily, you're okay. It's okay." Officer Miller gestured for her to get in the backseat and brought them to the hospital while the other officers worked on the house and the shed.

~~~~

Clarke didn't let go of Lily once, not even while they were being admitted to the hospital. By the time they were given a room, Lily was fast asleep in her mothers arms and Clarke was dead on her feet. "Would you like a second bed?" One of the nurses offered, Clarke shook her head, she would be sleeping with Lily in her arms. Within minutes everyone had filed out of the room, giving Clarke and Lily their privacy. 

Once they were alone, Clarke stripped Lily down to her underwear, tucking her into the bed, she went into the bathroom to wash her face and climbed in bed with her daughter. 

When Lily woke the next morning their hospital room was bright from the sun streaming through the giant windows. Lily blinked quickly and rubbed her eyes with her hands, trying to get her eyes to adjust. 

She'd never seen something so bright. 

The light in Box never looked like this. Sliding out of the bed, she went to the window. There were so many giant things, Lily didn't think she'd be able to count them all, and she was pretty good at counting. Her mommy had told her so. 

With her fingers pressed against the cold glass, she looked down, down, down. The ground was really far away and that was enough to scare her away from the window and back to the bed with her mom. 

Clarke woke up as Lily was climbing back on the bed. "Morning sweetie, I was waiting for you to wake up and fell back asleep." She sat up and stretched.

“Where’s Finn?”  Lilt asked quietly, slipping under the blankets and curling into her moms side. Not knowing entirely what to tell her, Clarke settled with, “We’re safe now Lily.”

The little girl jumped when the phone rang a few minutes later, she'd never heard one, or even seen one before. 

Reaching over for the phone, Clarke answered it and put her free arm around Lily, pulling her closer. "Hello?" There was silence while she listened to the person on the other end.

"Sure, give us like twenty minutes, she just got up." And with that she hung up the phone. Lily followed her out of bed and across the room to the bathroom, staying close.

Clarke pulled Lily's underwear down, and once she had stepped out of them, Clarke threw the old worn out underwear in the trash. "Mama, that's wasteful." Lily frowned at her mother.

"It's okay Lily, you're getting new ones.” With that said, Clarke turned and moved to turn the water in the shower on. Lily stood in awe, watching as the water fell and splashed at her moms feet before slowly joining her under the water.

 ~~~~

After their shower Clarke and Lily were wrapped in bathrobes, sitting on the bed while Clarke braided back Lily’s long golden hair. Just as Clarke was finishing off the braid someone knocked on the door before cracking it open, asking if they could come in.

When the doctor walked in with a rolling cart with food Lily turned and buried her face in her moms bathrobe. 

“Hi, I’m Dr. Julie. You must be Clarke,” The doctor kneeled down so she was level with Lily’s hidden face. “And you must be Lily.” 

She whimpered softly. Lily was sick of strangers. She was poked and prodded enough the night before. 

“I brought you two some clothes, and a nice hot breakfast." Dr. Julie said as she took the covers off the food, watching Lily to see how she would react to a big plate of hot food.

"Look Lily, pancakes," Clarke spoke quietly while wrapping an arm around her daughter, her free hand cutting a piece of pancake with the side of her fork. "You love pancakes. Do you think they're better than mine?"

Lily shrugged slightly, keeping her face hidden. Clarke put the piece of pancake in her mouth,"Mmmm, their good. Are you sure you don't want some?" She ate another bite. 

Lily tugged on Clarke's sleeve lightly, and when her mom leaned down she whispered, "Are they better than yours?" 

Smiling, Clarke leaned down and softly kissed the top of her daughters head and whispered back, "I'm not sure, I need your help deciding." Lily turned her head just enough to take the bite of food offered to her.

"Just like Mommy's." Lily sighed quietly. So Clarke fed her just like that until the pancakes were gone, then she handed her daughter a piece of bacon and offered her the orange juice box. The little girl took them both, and as Clarke expected, she moved to sit behind Clarke's back, thinking the doctor couldn't see her. 

Dr. Julie had pulled up a chair and sat across from Clarke as she fed Lily. She asked her questions and noted Clarke's answers but didn't try to talk to Lily again, she could easily tell the little girl was scared. And after everything that the pair had been through, it was understandable. 

Clarke froze when the door to her hospital suddenly burst open to reveal her mom. Dr. Julie stood and quietly excused herself, letting the family reunite in peace. 

Standing up Clarke ran over to her mother and hugged her tightly, tears escaping unwillingly. "Mom," her words died on her lips. 

"Clarke, honey, are you okay?" That's when Clarke snapped out of her haze. Pulling back she wiped the few traitorous tears before turning back to the bed. 

"Yeah Mom, I'm fine, we both are." Lily was still sitting on the bed with this deer in the headlights look on her face. 

"It's okay sweetie, come say, 'hi' to grandma." Clarke moved back to the bed and picked Lily up, holding her tightly so she knew that Clarke wouldn't send her away with someone ever again. 

Lily buried her face in Clarke's shoulder, refusing to look up, but Abby Griffin smiled at the little blonde in her daughters arms. 

 ~~~~

Two weeks. That's how long Clarke and Lily had been forced to stay at the hospital. Abby had gone out and bought them some real clothes but that didn't make it much better. Lily was content enough wandering around the hospital with her mom even if she had to wear a stupid face mask because of the number of germs that her body had never been exposed to before. 

Clarke on the other hand just wanted to go home. She wanted to see her dad but didn't want to ask where he'd been in front of Lily and she hadn't had the chance to get her mom alone.

When the hospital finally released Clarke and Lily, after making sure they were up to date with all their injections, they made their way out into the fresh afternoon air with Abby leading them to the car. 

The entire street leading to their house was packed with news vans and reporters. 

“Just carry Lily, come on.” Abby said as she slid out of the car ahead of Clarke.

They hurried into the house, Clarke holding a hand to the back of Lilys head to keep the cameras from getting a shot of her face. It was the house Clarke had grown up in, slamming the door behind them. “I think I’m going to see if I can do anything to try and get rid of them.” Abby muttered as she watched her daughter help the little girl out of her coat.

Lily looked around slowly. There was a lot of space here, not small like Box was. “Wanna go downstairs?” She looked up at her mom, what were stairs?

Clarke guided her to the small set of stairs, four of them, and slowly coaxed her daughter down them to the living room. Lily held Clarks hand tightly as they walked through the doorway to the living room. 

It was almost exactly as she remembered it. The giant windows across the front of the room that currently had the curtains drawn over them too keep those outside from looking in, the couch in front of the windows that was her grandmothers, the ornate glass coffee table, the marble fireplace on the far wall, the giant family portrait…wasn’t hanging on the wall across from the couch. 

Clarke was pulled from her thoughts when Lily tugged on her arm, pulling her towards the couch. 

She sat on the couch, sighing at how comfortable it was. It was definitely better than hospital furniture and way better than anything they'd had in Box. Lily was sitting on her knees, bouncing gently on the cushions as she looked around the large living room. Exhaustion slowly weighed down on her.

Clarke's eyes had barely been closed a moment when she heard her name. 

"Clarke," she stiffened, immediately recognizing that deep voice. 

Opening her eyes, she sat up, not really remembering laying down on the couch to begin with. 

He took a slow step forward from the doorway as Clarke stood up. 

“Bellamy?"


	3. Mommy's Friend

She couldn't believe he was here, that it was him. 

They met in the middle of the room and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, his arms coming to wrap around her waist just as tight. 

"Bellamy..."

Bellamy leaned down and kissed the top of her head. 

"Hey Princess," he whispered into her hair. Oh how he'd missed her.

Princess, that's what Finn had called her. But Bellamy had given her the pet name first, Finn just adopted it. It had always sounded better coming from Bellamy's lips.

"Mama?" Lily was still on the couch, watching Bellamy with big scared eyes, hiding behind a throw pillow. 

Clarke regretfully pulled herself out of his arms and went to sit back down on the couch where her daughter instantly curled up in her lap, wanting to hide from the strange new man.

Bellamy stayed where he was, not wanting to make the little blonde uncomfortable, but he moved to the couch when Clarke gestured he should come sit. 

"Lily, I want you to meet someone." She could feel how tense Lily was as Bellamy moved over to the couch. 

The little girl shook her head against her mothers chest, whimpering softly. 

Clarke frowned gently, "Sorry, she's been shy lately. I think it's just the amount of new people and new things in such a short time-" Bellamy laid a hand on her shoulder from where he sat next to her on the couches armrest, favoring that over the other cushion. "It's fine. I'm sure it's just been one thing after the next since…for the last few days.” 

He trailed off, not having meant to bring up her time with Finn. They sat in silence while Clarke rubbed Lily's back slowly. "How Octavia?" She asked after a few minutes knowing that they'd be able to find their way once they started talking.

Nearly an hour later Lily tugged on her moms shirt and whispered to her that she had to go potty. "I'll be right back." Clarke told Bellamy as she stood up with Lily, still in her arms, and made her way to the bathroom. 

She sighed softly as she left, she didn't know what to do around Bellamy anymore, that old easy and safe feeling hadn't come back like she'd hoped.

~~~~

Bellamy had stayed for dinner, and like with her mother, she hadn't had a moment alone with him.

Lily had clung to her mother since they had had been reunited in the back of the police car, and Clarke figured it was because she was scared to be too far away. They had always been together in Box, there were no doors or walls except for the ones that kept them locked inside, they'd never been separated before. 

Except for Clarke sending her with Finn, but that would never happen again.

As the four of them were finishing with dinner Lily tugged on her mothers arm to get her attention, before asking quietly, "Do I have to sleep in a wardrobe?" Bellamy and Abby exchanged curious and confused looks before shifting their gazes to Clarke who shook her head with a small smile on her lips. 

"No sweetie, Mommy has a big bed for us to sleep in." And for the first time since leaving Box, Lily smiled a tiny, excited, smile. 

While Abby cleaned up after dinner, Lily, Clarke, and Bellamy went upstairs. Lily slowly and warily leading the way, her moms hand on her back with every step she climbed. Reaching the top, Clarke guided Lily towards her childhood room. Lily pushed open the door, wide-eyed at the room in front of her.

It didn't look like anything had been touched, textbooks open on her desk, sketch books on top of her book case, her paints in the corner by the window and her four poster bed on the far wall across from the closet. It felt like stepping back in time to when she was 18. 

Lily looked around wide eyed at all the stuff. So much nicer and way more than what they had in Box. "Think you can get on the bed by yourself?" Clarke asked as she went over to the two small suitcases that her mother had used to bring them some clothes. They would have to go get some more in the coming days, but Clarke didn't even want to think about facing the press in the front yard yet. Walking over to her closet she started digging through her old shirts.

Lily moved over to the bed slowly, she was watching Bellamy where he was still standing in the doorway. When she got to the bed she finally took her eyes off him and tried to climb up, but couldn't. It was too tall. 

Hands wrapped around Lily's sides and her feet left the floor. Then she was sitting on the bed, Bellamy standing right there. She whimpered and curled into a little ball, too scared to back away.

Clarke put a hand on Bellamy's shoulder. "Maybe you should wait in the hall?" The way she said it, Bellamy knew she wanted to talk.

Once the door had shut behind him, Clarke sat Lily in her lap and began undressing her. "He's mean like Finn." Clarke paused.

"What makes you say that?" She asked slowly, tugging one of her old concert shirts over Lily's head. The little girl was swimming in it but she didn't seem to mind.

"Finn was mean and he was a boy." Then Lily pointed to the door. "He's a boy so he is mean too." She said it so matter of factly that it took Clarke a moment to reply.

"Yes, Finn was very mean to us, and did a lot of bad things." She laid down with Lily still in her arms. "But just because Bellamy is a boy doesn't mean that he is mean too. Bellamy is very nice, he was a really good friend to me while I was growing up.” She had no intentions of ever letting her daughter near Finn or anyone like him ever again.

Clarke laid in bed, her bed, with her daughter in her arms.

It was just really hitting her that they were free. Finn couldn't hurt them anymore. 

When she was sure Lily was asleep she slowly slid out of bed and went into the hall, leaving the door cracked open slightly. Turning she saw Bellamy leaning against the wall across the hall, waiting patiently.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to come see you." She looked up from the floor, not knowing what he meant. She hadn’t even known that he knew that she’d been found.

"My boss at the police station wouldn't tell me who they were protecting. Only the four rotating guards that watched you knew who you were. Your mom didn’t want the media to find out. They were trying to keep it quiet. But I had already figured it out by myself." Clarke leaned back against the wall across from him, listening intently as he continued.

"I was ordered to stay away from the hospital. My suspicions were confirmed when the lead detective told me I was too close to the case." Pushing off the wall, he crossed the hall in two steps, standing right in front of her, placing his hands lightly on her shoulders. "I'm so sorry I couldn't come see you sooner."

Clarke nodded slowly, uneasily. "It's okay Bellamy. I've been trying to help Lily adjust anyway." She wasn’t entirely sure she knew what to say to him. 

She let her back slide down the wall until she was sitting on the floor with her knees pulled to her chest. "I'm sorry the she freaked out before, it wasn't your fault."

Bellamy frowned, sitting next to her. "It's alright Clarke, she's just a kid, and she's scared." 

"No," she shook her head slowly, "you're a guy. And because of Finn, she's afraid of you. And that's not fair to you-or to her." Clarke could feel her heartbeat speeding up and took a deep breath. Trying to calm herself. 

Her daughter was blaming Bellamy for something that he had nothing to do with.

"I-I think I'm just going to go to bed..." It was her fault, if she had managed to escape sooner, get out of there before Lily had been born, if only she'd found a way…

Just as she tried to get up, Bellamy put a hand on her shoulder again. "Okay, but if you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me." She nodded numbly as she got to her feet and went into her room. Clarke shut the door behind her, changed into a pair of the pajamas her mom had bought for her and went to climb in bed with Lily. 

Hours later she finally fell into a restless sleep.

~~~~

The sun came pouring through the window the next morning, waking Lily. Rubbing her eyes she sat up and looked around. "Mama?" It came out as little more than a whisper. 

"Mama?" Where was her mom? "Mommy?" She called out, crying softly.

The bedroom door opened slowly, "Lily?" 

Bellamy stepped into the room, leaving the door open behind him.

Lily hugged her knees against her belly, sniffling softly. 

"Hey, it's all right Lily." Bellamy slowly walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, making sure to leave some space between them. "Your mom will be right back."

She sniffed again, she just wanted her mom. She was scared, everything was so big and scary, she just wanted her mommy.

"You know what?" He asked gently, and as he hoped, Lily looked up. “You look just like your mom in that shirt."

Bellamy leaned forward and slowly wiped her tears away. "And your hair is the same as hers too, although...hers was never as curly." He sat there, looking at the little girl and thinking about the baby pictures he'd seen of Clarke. No, Clarke’s hair had never been as curly as her daughters hair was. 

He smiled at the little girl as he added, "You look just like your mommy.” 

Lily watched him, and he watched her. “You’re Mommy’s friend?” Lily asked, remembering that her mom had said he was nice, a friend. He nodded. “We were really good friends for a long time.” Reaching into his back pocket he pulled out his phone. After a minute of quiet while Bellamy looked for something, he turned the phone around and handed it to Lily.

On the screen was an 18 year old Clarke with a 20 year old Bellamy, his arms wrapped around her stomach from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder. One of her hands was in his curly dark brown hair while the other was clinging to where his hands were clasped together around her stomach. Both of them had giant smiles on their faces. It was one of the last pictures they had taken together. Clarke was wearing the same shirt that her daughter was currently wearing. 

Lily stared at the picture. “That’s me and your mom.” She held the phone with two hands and looked at Bellamy, then back at the picture. 

“Mama…” Moving just a little closer, Bellamy slowly slid his finger across the screen to the next picture, it was from one of the many beach trips they had taken with their friends the summer before Clarke had been taken. 

Bellamy had saved every picture that she sent him or that had her in it. And right now he couldn’t be more grateful.

Lily tried sliding her finger like Bellamy did and was rewarded with a selfie that Clarke had sent him at one point. Lily looked up at Bellamy and pointed to the picture asking, "My mommy?" 

Bellamy nodded and moved a little closer so he could look at the pictures too. She sat there with his big phone in her little hands, quietly looking through picture after picture.

Clarke walked back in a few minutes later, her towel still wrapped around her body, and stopped dead when she saw Lily sitting next to Bellamy on her bed. He looked up and smiled at her before nudging Lily ever so gently, “Look who’s back Lily.”

Lily looked up and dropped the phone on the bed as she climbed down and ran to her towel clad mother. “Mommy!” 

“Hi sweetie,” Clarke crouched down and hugged her little girl. “Whats wrong?” She asked when she noticed Lily’s tears.

“Where did you go?” Lily whispered, holding her mom tighter. “Oh, I just took a shower.” Clarke said gently. She hadn’t expected Lily to wake up before she got back. 

“You were okay Lily, do you want to show mommy what we were doing?” Bellamy asked from where he still sat on the edge of the bed. She shook her head. 

Standing up Clarke carried her daughter back to the bed and sat her down in her lap. “It’s okay Lily,” she ran her fingers through her hair soothingly. “It’s okay now. I’m right here sweetie.” Lily nodded, her face hidden against Clarkes neck. 

Bellamy got up, pocketed his phone, and made his way out of the room, silently shutting the door behind him. The dark circles under Clarkes eyes worried him.

~~~~

Clarke and Lily made their way downstairs to breakfast a little while later, slowly descending the stairs. Voices drifted from the kitchen, it sounded like Abby was in the middle of a lecture. 

Abby's voice got louder the closer Clarke and Lily got to the kitchen. Another, deeper, voice tried to reason with Abby. Clarke couldn't tell who it was, but it definitely wasn't her father or Bellamy.

"She's not ready to know, there's too-"

Clarke walked into the kitchen, Lily only a step behind her. Her mother stopped mid sentence when she saw Clarke. The man she was arguing with turned and smiled at her. 

"Ah Clarke, it's so good to see you again. How are you doing?” When he spoke Lily stepped behind Clarke, hiding behind her legs. 

"Um, I'm doing all right..." Clarke knew this man, she'd seen him before but couldn't remember his name. 

"Clarke do you remember Marcus Kane? He worked with your father." Marcus, that was his name. She vaguely remembered him now but nodded anyway. 

"Speaking of Dad, where is he?" Clarke wanted to talk to her dad, she hadn't seen him yet. 

"Clarke-" Marcus began, stepping towards her. Lily whimpered and wrapped her arms around Clarkes legs. Clarke reached behind her and ran her fingers through her daughters hair

"Marcus, I think it's time for you to go. You don't want to be late for work." Abby interrupted him. She was glaring at him and her tone led Clarke to believe she was hiding something. 

"Mom, what's going on?" Clarke asked as Bellamy walked in from the living room, stopping just inside the kitchen.

"It's nothing Clarke, right Marcus?" The man looked uneasily between the two mothers before shaking his head slowly. "She deserves to know Abby."

No one acknowledged Bellamy, they didn't even seem to notice him.

"What do I deserve to know?" Clarkes voice was rising with each thing she said, she was getting scared. "What aren't you telling me?" 

Lily tugged on her moms clothes crying quietly. "Mommy?"

"It's nothing Clarke."

"Mama?" It came out more like a sob as she hugged her mothers leg again.

Sighing Clarke picked up her daughter, rocking her gently. "It's obviously not nothing, and whatever it is I deserve to know!" Lily was sobbing in her mothers arms while Clarke screamed at her own mother. 

“I’m scared.” Lily whispered.

"I'm your mother and I know what's best for you." Abby was trying to speak calmly. 

"I'm not a kid anymore! I had no choice but to grow up, I can handle whatever it is!" Clarke growled. "What aren't the two of you telling me?" She turned her glare to Marcus as she rubbed her daughters back. 

Taking a deep breath, Bellamy moved further into the kitchen. It broke his heart seeing Clarke upset, but there wasn't anything he could do to fix that. He couldn’t stop this. But he could help Lily. Walking up to Clarke, he reached out and pulled the little girl into his arms. She reached wildly for her mom. 

"Sssshhhhh, Lily, it's okay." He whispered. Lily was trying to pull his hands off her, but he wasn't about to let go. 

"Mommy!" Bellamy ran a hand through her hair. 

"Mommy is right there. She needs to talk to her mommy for a little bit." He said quietly but then moved down the hall and through the door into the backyard when the yelling continued to escalate. 

The press couldn't get back here. "It's okay Lily, she's just in the kitchen." He spoke quietly, running his fingers up and down her back. 

Lily's cries and sobs had subsided into little whimpers by now. "Mommy, Mommy..."

He stood on the back porch, running his fingers through her long blonde hair. If he could just distract her... 

"Have you ever gone down a slide Lily?" Sniffing, she shook her head. Bellamy smiled down at her as he crossed the back yard to the old wooden playscape.

Lily looked at it before quickly shaking her head. "No, it's big and scawy! I want Mommy!" And the tears started again. "I want Mommy!"

Bellamy sat on one of the swings, shifting the little girl to his lap. "Lily, it's okay. Mommy will come out in a bit." He swung them ever so gently hoping that the movement would help calm her. 

"You're mean, I want Mama!" Lily pushed against him and kicked her little legs but he wouldn't let go of her.

"Lily, it's okay. Your mom needs to talk with the grownups." Her hits and kicks were getting weaker by the moment but her cries weren't subsiding. 

"Shhh, Lily, shhh. Do you think Mommy likes it when you're upset?" Bellamy spoke softly, trailing his fingers across her small back that was shaking with her sobs. 

She shook her head. "Mama, I want my Mommy!" 

"She'll come find us soon. She's talking to your grandma."

She sobbed, "Mommy..." and buried her face in Bellamys shirt, much to his surprise. 

Giving up on trying to soothe her with words, Bellamy wrapped his arms tighter around her little body and just swung them gently, with Lily eventually settling down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to let you know, the spring semester is starting up again so updates will be whenever I have less homework. I'm gonna do my best to keep updating. Please bear with me!


	4. Going Out

It was another twenty minutes before Clarke finally came out of the house. She'd been crying too, he could tell, even after all these years. 

Clarke and Bellamy locked eyes across the yard for a moment before she looked away. Taking a deep breath she wiped at her eyes one last time, forced a smile, and crossed the yard to stand before Bellamy.

Her eyes were red from crying, and her cheeks were still a little too pink. "Lily," bending down she pulled her daughter into her arms. 

Lily held her mother as tight as she could. "Wanna go on an adventure?" Clarke forced herself to keep her tone light and exciting. She couldn't stay in the house, she needed to get away from her mother for a while.

Lily nodded happily. "Lets go find your shoes and I'll help you put them on."

Clarke put her daughters feet on the ground and she immediately ran to the door to the house. Clarke followed her while Bellamy jogged slightly to catch up.

"Clarke, are-" she put a hand up, stopping him. 

"Don't." She took a deep breath before continuing. "You knew. You knew my dad was dead and you didn't tell me!" Her words were light but her tone was harsh. Clarke was still looking at Lily, waiting for her at the door. Watching them. 

Bellamy opened the door so Lily could go ahead and find her shoes but he stopped Clarke from following the little girl, putting his arm across the doorway. "Look, I know you're not happy that I kept this from you, but we haven't exactly had a lot of time to talk..." 

Clarke sighed and wiped at her eyes as a traitorous tear fell before letting her arms hang at her sides. "I never even got to say goodbye to him." He hated how defeated she sounded.

Bellamy nodded sadly, "I know," and pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his middle and held him tight with her face buried in his chest. She'd missed him. "It'll be okay Princess, you know I'm here for you. I'll do whatever I can to help."

Looking up at him she nodded slowly, "Thank you." He let go of her and they went looking for Lily together.

~~~~

Bellamy wound up driving the three of them to the mall in the next town over in hope of less people recognizing Clarke, hopefully causing less of a commotion. She was grateful, she wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with cameras, and press, and people she used to know.

They went through all the department stores, Lily walking between Bellamy and Clarke, holding tightly to her moms hand but refusing Bellamys when he offered it.

Bellamy loved the look of awe on Lily's face. Everything was big and new to her, it was all a brand new world for her. 

Lily and Clarke tried on clothes and then put on a little show for Bellamy just outside the changing room. Clarke would do a little twirl first and Lily followed along with her own twirl. After the first few outfits it wasn’t long before Lily started getting so into it that she began twirling all over and bumping into the wall.

Laughing Lily ran back over to her mother and twirled around her legs, laughing happily. 

Bellamy leaned against the wall while they put on different clothes. He could hear Clarke talking to Lily as they changed, and it made him smile. He loved Clarke, even after all those years apart, and found it all too easy to love her daughter. 

Finished with clothes, the three of them moved along to the toy section for Lily. Clarke wanted to let her pick out a few new things to play with. Lily had only ever had a small handful of real toys when they'd been kept in Box and Clarke wanted her daughter to get the chance to choose her own playthings. 

Clarke and Bellamy followed the curious little girl through the aisles of toys, letting Lily lead the way.

"She's going to be all right you know." Bellamy said quietly while Lily was looking at a shelf of stuffed animals.

Lily had picked up a gray and white bunny with floppy ears and was examining it closely, petting it’s fluffy fur. Clarke couldn’t take her eyes off her little girl as she replied, "I hope."

He put a hand on Clarke’s shoulder and she finally turned her gaze to him. Bellamy smiled reassuringly when her eyes finally found his. “I know she will. She’s strong, just like her mother.”

Clarke looked back to her daughter to hide the bit of color that rose to her cheeks, she didn't know what to say in response, so she just stood there with a little smile upon her lips.

~~~~

Abby was no where to be found when they got back to the house a few hours later. Bellamy helped Clarke make a late lunch while Lily sat on the island in the middle of the kitchen watching them. Whenever Clarke walked past Lily, she would poke and tickle her, causing the little girls laugh to fill the kitchen. 

Bellamys phone went off just as he was putting their lunch in the oven. Pulling it out of his back pocket, he glanced at the screen before muttering, "I gotta take this,” and walking out of the room. Clarke looked after him, whoever it was had taken the smile from his lips. Pulling her own new phone out of her pocket, she put on Pandora Radio and set it on the counter. "Mommy?" 

Crossing the kitchen, Clarke leaned on her elbows on the island next to her daughter. "Did you have fun today Lily?" She nodded. 

"Can I have my bunny now?" Smiling, Clarke lifted her off the island and put her feet on the floor. "It's in the big blue bag by the door." 

Lilly nodded and made it to the doorway before realizing her mom wasn't following her. "Mama, come on." Clarke smiled from where she was once again leaning on the island. "You can go by yourself Lily. I know you can do it."

Lily looked out the doorway, she could see the front door, but she didn't want to go alone. "You can do it Lily, go on now." Clarke encouraged her. Walking ever so slowly, she left the kitchen. She'd have to go up the four stairs alone. 

Lily turned around to look at her mom when she had reached the foot of the stairs. She was checking on the food. As Lily turned back towards the stairs she saw Bellamy pacing in the living room, still on his phone. 

He didn't look happy. 

Maybe he needed a hug?

Forgetting about her new bunny, Lily slowly made her way into the living room. He was walking back and fourth. Her little feet didn’t make a sound on the carpeted floor as she moved closer to him, stopping scared when he pivoted and punched the mantel of the fireplace.

"No! Damn it O!" He whisper screamed, gently shaking out the hand he had used to punch the marble mantel with. 

Squealing for her mom in fear, Lily turned and ran back to the kitchen. Bellamy turned around just in time to watch her leave. By the time he'd ended the call and made it back to the kitchen Lily was hiding behind Clarke, terrified, while Clarke looked between him and her daughter. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten her. I didn't know she was behind me." Bellamy was quick to apologize, angry at no one but himself.

"What happened?" Clarke frowned at him slightly as she crouched down to comfort the little girl. She didn’t think he’d purposely scare Lily, he wasn’t capable of it. 

"He's mean! Like Finn!" The quiet words cut through the silent kitchen. Then the silent tears started.

Lily didn't want him to hurt her mommy. No, he was like the bad man. He would hurt her and her mommy. 

"Lily, sweetie, it's okay. He's not like Finn." Clarke tightened her hold on her daughter just a bit more. “Bellamy is a friend, it’s okay. It's okay." She repeated softly, trying to soothe the scared girl. Clarke pressed a kiss to the top of her daughters head and smoothed her hair back.

"Its okay sweetie. Finn can't hurt us now. It's okay. We’re safe Lily.” Picking Lily up, Clarke rested her chin gently against the top of her daughters head. 

“I’m sorry Clarke, I didn’t know she was there.” He repeated, mentally cursing himself for losing his temper in the first place.

“Bellamy…just, tell me what happened.” Clarke knew he wouldn’t have purposely scared Lily.

“I snapped at the person I was talking to and, punched the mantel…” He admitted embarrassedly. It wasn’t exactly the first time he’d punched it either.

Clarke chuckled softly and shook her head as she closed the space between them. Lily whimpered quietly in protest when Clarke took Bellamy’s hand in her free one, examining it. It was already swelling.

“You really need to find something new to hit, one of these days, that mantel is going to get its revenge.” He shrugged apologetically, grinning sheepishly. 

“You need to get some ice on your hand too.” As soon as she spoke, the timer on the oven beeped. Letting go of his hand, she placed her daughter on the floor and moved to the oven to keep their lunch from burning. 

Lily moved to the far side of the kitchen, away from Bellamy and her mom. She sat with her back against the wall and her knees pulled against her belly. She watched as he stood behind Clarke, putting his hands on her shoulders. He was talking too quietly for Lily to hear him. They both turned to look at her then, though, both of them were smiling at her, her mama looked happy. 

~~~~

“So, are you going to tell me who made you lose your temper earlier?” Clarke and Bellamy were laying on opposite sides of the couch in the living room with their feet on the ottoman. Lily was tucked in bed, fast asleep for the night in Clarke's room.

He hesitated before responding with, “Do you really wanna know?” She nodded, her forehead crinkled slightly.

“Octavia, she was mad that I knew you were back home and didn’t tell her.” Clarke just sat there quietly, thinking, so he continued. "I wanted it to be your choice. I haven't told anyone and I know your mom has been doing everything in her power to keep the media quiet." 

"Thanks Bellamy." She hesitated a moment before scooting closer to him on the couch, their thighs brushing. 

They both jumped when the front door slammed, shortly followed by Abby appearing in the doorway to the living room. Clarke tensed. 

"I hired a lawyer, she said that she can get the media to leave you alone if you agree to do an interview. I told them it wouldn’t be happening, that you weren't ready." With that being said, Abby went upstairs and out of sight. Not giving Clarke the chance to object or comment.

Bellamy watched Abby retreat out of sight before turning his gaze back to Clarke, watching her carefully “What are you thinking Princess?” She was staring at the spot where their family portrait once hung. 

“Clarke?”

“I don’t know Bellamy…” She looked down at her lap before looking back up at the empty spot on the wall. Her dad wouldn’t have just flat out said no like that, he would have talked with her about it and they would have made the decision together. He would have understood that, it ultimately was her choice.

“If doing an interview would calm things down...then maybe I should. For Lily.” She’d do anything for Lily.

Moving his feet to the floor, he sat up and turned to face Clarke. He put one hand on her knee, the other on her shoulder. “Nothing needs to be decided tonight, why don’t you go on up to bed and think about it?” 

Closing her eyes, she nodded and he squeezed her knee. Nothing would change tonight, it was too late to make calls or do anything about it now anyway. She let herself sink back into the cushions, exhaustion dragging her down. It’d been a long day.

Bellamy stood up and stretched before taking Clarke’s hands in his and gently tugging her to her feet. “Come on Princess, do you need me to carry you upstairs like I used to?”

Resting her forehead on his chest, Clarke shook her head slowly, as her eyes slid close. She sighed quietly when she felt his arms wrap around her. Sighing contently, she let herself melt a little more against him. Just another minute, then she’d go upstairs to Lily.

“Clarke?” He drew her name out in a soft whisper. Her right hand was resting on his bicep, her left was just barely holding the front of his shirt. He huffed affectionately, before gently picking her up. 

“Mmm, I can walk Bell…” She wasn’t asleep yet, although if he’d let her stand in his arms much longer, she wasn’t so sure that it’d still be true. 

Bellamy smiled down at her with a raised eyebrow as he made his way up to the second floor, now where had he heard that before? “I got you, Princess.” 

Using his foot, he carefully bumped open the door to her room, very much aware of the tiny blonde already in the big bed. He could see the gray bunny in her arms. With one knee on the edge of the mattress for balance, he pulled the sheets back, and laid Clarke down. Pulling the sheets over her, he watched as she instinctively pulled Lily against her, the child sighing happily. He let himself stay for only a moment longer before going to the guest room down the hall for the night.


	5. Two Steps Forward

Less than a week later the interview was set up, much to Abby’s disapproval. Some of those nights Bellamy had gone home, but most nights he just stayed in the guest room. Letting himself into the house one morning, he made his way to the kitchen. Clarke was braiding back her daughters hair, Lily sitting perfectly still while she waited for her mom to finish. He watched as Clarke tugged lightly on the braid saying, “All done,” and moved to make a plate of food. 

Stepping through the doorway, Bellamy leaned against the wall with his arms crossed loosely over his chest, more than content to just watch until one of them noticed him. 

Clarke turned away from the stove, a plate of waffles and fruit in hand, and smiled when she saw Bellamy leaning next to the doorway. “Oh, hi Bellamy, do you want some breakfast?” She brought the plate over to her daughter so she could start eating.

“Nah, I’m good. But…I don’t seem to remember you being that much of a cook?” He pushed off the wall and closed the distance so there was barely a foot between them, their gazes locked on each other. 

She shrugged, “I had to learn eventually, I didn’t want to poison myself.” It came out like it was no big deal, but Bellamy knew better.

“Mama makes the bestest pancakes.” The timid voice broke the moment between them, and they both turned to Lily, grinning. Bellamy put one hand on his hip, “Does she now? I think I can still make better pancakes than your Mama does.” 

Lily frowned. “No, Mommy makes the bestest…” Clarke walked around the table, coming to stand behind her chair, and squeezing her shoulders lightly. “Maybe you’ll have to try his pancakes? Then you can prove to him that mine are better.” Lilt nodded and Clarkes eyes twinkled with mischief as she looked back to Bellamy. Clarke knew from the many nights she had spent at his place, just how good Bellamys pancakes really were.

“Clarke,” the twinkle vanished the second she heard her mothers voice, her eyes hardening only moments before Abby walked into the kitchen, Marcus Kane only a step behind her. 

Bellamy watched Clarkes face harden. “They’ll be here soon, you need to get ready.” He cocked his head slightly in confusion. 

“Do you want help?”

“No, Mother.” Clarke ground out. “I can dress myself, thank you. Bellamy, can you bring Lily upstairs when she’s done eating?” Without waiting for an answer, she marched out of the kitchen.

Marcus glanced at Abby before looking at Bellamy and breaking the tension, “Morning Bellamy, how are you?” Addressing him as if the Griffin women arguing was perfectly normal. Which, if Bellamy thought about it, it had been the normal before Clarke had been kidnapped. 

“I’m good, and you Sir?” Marcus laughed as he crossed the kitchen to make some coffee. 

“Please, son, it’s just Marcus. Abby, coffee?” She nodded, taking a seat next to Lily at the kitchen table. 

Lily froze when Marcus brought the coffee over, dropping the berry she had been holding. She didn’t like him, he wasn’t like mommy’s friend. Sliding out of her seat, she slowly went and hid on the far side of the island. 

“I thought they weren’t coming until tomorrow?” Bellamy asked as he picked up Lily’s plate along with the berry she dropped, to put it in the sink. 

“It had to get bumped up to this morning.” Marcus answered when Abby wouldn’t, obviously still upset about the interview even being held in the first place. Bellamy nodded, crouching down by the island, asking Lily if she was ready to go upstairs to her mom. Lily nodded, warily walking to the stairs with him. She tried not to be scared when he put a hand on her back like her mommy did when they went up stairs.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Lily ran ahead. The door to their room was open, she ran in looking around the room for her mom. Maybe she was in the closet? It was a really big closet, she’d seen her mommy go inside before. Maybe she was hiding? Lily walked to the closet, going inside, only to pout when her mom wasn’t in there. “Lily,” she walked back out of the closet. Bellamy was standing in the hall. “I found her Lily.”

Lily walked back to Bellamy, he pointed to the bathroom at the end of the hall. 

Clarke was standing in front of the bathroom sink and mirror. 

Lily ran to her, hugging her legs. Clarke reached down with one hand and tugged on her braid gently before going back to doing her makeup.

She caught the edge of Bellamy’s reflection in the mirror out of the corner of her eye. She knew what his expression was going to be. Ignoring him, she finished her makeup and started brushing out her hair. “What’s dat stuff?” Clarke could see Lily’s reflection in the mirror, the little girl was on her tippy toes peeking over the top of the counter to point at the makeup. 

“It’s makeup. People wear it to look pretty.” Clarke explained, a small smile tugging at her lips at Lily’s curiosity.

Lily scrunched up her nose and shook her head. “But you are pretty.” 

“I couldn’t agree more Lily, your Mama is very pretty. She doesn’t need any makeup.” Clarke finally met his gaze in the mirror. She knew that he thought she didn’t need makeup, that had been his opinion since they’d first begun to get along and be friends. 

“You don’t need that makeup Clarke, you just need to be you.” She crossed her arms over her chest, still watching him in the mirror. “You didn’t need it back in high school, and you didn’t need it when Collins snuck you into that college party…” the party he had caught her at.

Lily stood in front of the counter, looking between the two adults, confused. 

“Bellamy-” 

He quickly cut her off, “No Clarke.” He took a calming breath and stepped closer, “Princess, you’ve never needed makeup and you know it.” He had always made sure that she knew it too. She dropped her gaze, still not turning around. He took another step and opened his mouth to continue, closing it when he heard the doorbell echo through the house.

Clarke turned to her daughter and knelt down in front of her. “Lily, sweetie, I have to go downstairs and talk to someone for a little bit. I need you to stay up here with Bellamy for a little bit, okay?” Part of her acknowledged that this was almost as hard for her as it was when she sent Lily with Finn. But this was completely different. She trusted Bellamy. She knew he wouldn’t do anything to her daughter. She trusted Bellamy with her life, with her daughters life.

“I want to come with you,” Clark shook her head slowly, she wasn’t about to give whoever was down there a chance to plaster Lily’s face all over whatever magazine or newspaper they worked for. “You can’t, I need you to stay with Bellamy. He’s nice. He’s a friend, remember?” Lily nodded sadly. 

“We can do whatever you want Lily,” Bellamy moved and kneeled next to Clarke. “We’ll have lots of fun, I promise.”

Clarke pulled her daughter into a hug as Abby called for her to come downstairs. “I promise I’ll be right downstairs, okay Lily?”

Her little voice came out softer than usual as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, “I love you Mama,” leaning down Clarke placed a kiss on the tip of her daughters nose. “My brave girl.” And with that, Clarke stood, handed her daughter to Bellamy, and turned around before she could talk herself out of this. 

Bellamy could hear Clarke talking to whoever was down there to interview her. Turning his attention back to Lily, he smiled at her. “What would you like to do?”

Lily looked up at him nervously, “Can we color together?” He nodded happily. 

“Of course we can, and I’m pretty sure your mommy has lots and lots of colored pencils we can use.” Lily squealed softly, clinging onto his shirt, as he walked down the hall. Back to Clarkes room. 

~~~~

Clarke sat down on one end of the couch on her living room, her interviewer from Channel 6 News “please call me Echo”, sat opposite her. “If I ask something you’re not comfortable answering all you have to do is say so, and we’ll move on.” She had explained as the crew set up the lights and cameras. 

Clarke merely nodded, aching to be upstairs with her daughter and Bellamy. 

When Clarke agreed to do this interview, she hadn’t considered that it would be a live interview. Taking a deep breath, she put on a smile and prepared herself to talk about the last 6 years of torture.

The first few questions were simple enough to answer, nothing too prying. 

“How did you meet Finn Collins to begin with?” They had gone to school together. They were friends.

“Was there ever anything more than just friendship between you two?” Maybe for like, a day, but Clarke had quickly realized that he wasn’t her type. 

“Did you and Finn hangout outside of school? On the weekends? Over breaks?” Sure, Clarke would hangout with him on occasion, let him get her into a college party every now and again, but he wasn’t part of her main friend group. He just didn’t fit in with them.

Clarke glanced over at her mom and Marcus, her mom had no idea that she used to go to college parties. She always told her that she was spending the night at Octavias house. Abby didn’t look too happy about having her daughter admit to parting and drinking while underage.

Echo glanced at her watch. “So I think it’s time I asked the big question. Photos were taken of you the day you came home from the hospital, and you were carrying something, or should I say someone in your arms…” she trailed off, watching Clarkes expression closely.

Clarke tensed slightly at the mention of that day. Taking a breath, she confessed for the world to hear, “I was holding my daughter.” Her voice come out choked, the words had tried to stick in her throat. She wasn’t going to give up more information than was asked for.

Echo nodded, “What’s her name? How old is she?”

“Her name is Lily, she’s five.” Echo looked around the living room. “Where is she? Both your parents are here and I’m sure you’re not such an irresponsible mother that you’d leave her alone somewhere?”

Clarke bristled at that, her mouth forming a hard line. “First of all Echo, I know you’ve lived in Arkadia more than long enough to know that, Marcus Kane is not my father. Jake Griffin was killed, while I was being held against my will in a tool shed from hell-”

“Mama!” Lily came running through the door to the front hall. She froze for a minute when everyone turned to look at her, before running again, making a beeline for her mom, covering her eyes once Clarke had wrapped her in her arms.

Clarke looked to the doorway where Bellamy was standing, wordlessly apologizing. She wasn’t mad at him, though. “Sweetie, whats wrong?” She asked softly, adjusting Lily on her lap to try and keep the cameras from getting a shot of her face.

“You didn’t come back,” Lily whispered, tucking herself against her mothers chest. 

Clarke kissed the top of her head before whispering back, “You silly little girl, I’m right here.” And she pinched her daughters side gently, making her laugh. 

“So Clarke, I’m sure everyone’s curious. Who is Lily’s father? I think most people would guess its Finn.” Lily whimpered at the sound of his name. Clarke slowly rubbed her back, shaking her head at Abby when she moved forward to take Lily.

“Lily doesn’t have a father. She has me, and that’s all she needs.” She held her daughter a little tighter, protectively.

Echo didn’t stop though. “I’m sure, but I mean, biologically she has to have a father. I’m curious to know who that is.” Lily looked up at her mom, she knew they were talking about her but she was confused why her mama didn’t look happy.

Clarke knew she should have expected this question but she wasn’t ready to answer it. She looked around the faces in the room, everyone waiting expectantly for her to answer the question. Bellamys eyes were locked on her.

She didn’t want it to come out like this, she knew there was no getting around the question though. Even if she could sidetrack and distract Echo, she would still have to deal with her mother, and most likely Bellamy as well. Looking down at Lily, she said, “She’s not Finns.” And with that said she stood up and walked past Bellamy out of the room. Effectively ending the interview.

“Clarke!” Abby quickly followed her to the stairs. 

Clarke didn’t stop till she was at the top. “What?” Her tone was clipped. She wanted to wash the makeup off her face and get out of the house for a bit.

“You know what Clarke. If she’s not Finns, who’s is she?” Abby was exasperated with her daughter.

Lily laid her head on her moms shoulder, no one looked happy. Why weren’t they happy? Being happy was fun. “It doesn’t matter! All that matters is that she’s not Finns and she’s safe!” Clarke stormed down the hall to her room, shutting the door and leaning against it. 

“Mama…” Lily asked cautiously, her mommy wasn’t happy and she didn’t want to make her less happy. She was scared.

“It’s okay baby, everything’s okay.” Clarke laid her head on top of her daughters head, sighing silently as she sank to the floor. “I love you Lily, so much.”

“I love you too Mama.”

A knock on the door caused Clarke to groan. “Go away Mom!” There was a bit of shuffling then, “It’s not Abby, but I’ll leave if you want me too.”

Noticing the coloring on the floor a few feet away, Clarke nudged Lily. “Go color for a bit. I’ll come over in a few minutes.” Shifting off her moms lap, Lily laid on her belly on the floor and rolled across the room to where she was coloring with Bellamy earlier.

Clarke stood up, watching her daughter roll across the room and couldn’t help but smile at her. Opening the door, she came face to face with Marcus. “I talked your mother out of coming up here and causing a fuss.” She nodded, “Thank you.”

“Look, Clarke, I know I’m not your dad. And I know a certain nerve was hit downstairs…” She looked at the floor before stepping back so he could come into her room. “I just want you to know, I’m not trying to be your dad or replace him in your life.” 

They both moved and sat on the edge of her bed. “I’m here if you want or need someone to talk to about him. I lost my best friend too. The point I’m trying to make here is that I would like to have some place in your life, when you’re ready.”

Clarke was quiet for a few minutes, watching Lily coloring. “I just wish I’d had the chance to say goodbye to him. He understood me on a different level than Mom does.” He nodded, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

“I know. He would alway tell me about playing peacemaker between his two favorite girls…” He trailed off, noticing Lily trying to sneak past him without being noticed. “Little miss Lily, can I help you climb up here? Wanna come sit with me and your Mommy?” 

She watched him silently for a whole minute before slowly moving closer, one careful step at a time. When she was finally close enough, Marcus gently lifted her onto the bed. Lily moved to the far side where her stuffed bunny was and grabbed it before she scurried over to her mom. 

“Maybe, one day, when you’re ready to let me have a place in your life Clarke, Lily can have a Grandpa?” Clarke looked down at her daughter thoughtfully. “Would you like to have a grandpa Lily?” 

She sat in her moms lap, her bunny in her lap and looked up at her before pointing at Marcus. Clarke nodded, smiling softly. “Granpa?” She tried the new and strange word. “Granpa,” Lily said again, a little more confidently, making Marcus laugh softly.

“She’s a smart cookie,” his smile was huge as he watched Lily look up at her mom again asking, “Can I have a cookie?”

“Who’s giving you a cookie? I want a cookie.” Bellamy walked in, immediately stoping and trying to back track. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, stepping backwards to the door.

“No Bellamy, you’re fine Son. I was just leaving. Clarke, I’m always here if you need someone.” And with that, Marcus stood from the bed and strolled out, probably to find Abby. 

Bellamy stood there, two feet inside the door, confused by what he just saw. Setting aside his confusion, he crossed the room and took Marcus’s place on the edge of the bed. “Are you okay, Clarke?” 

She shrugged, “I’m going to go wash this makeup off my face.” She slid Lily onto the mattress before getting up and heading to the bathroom.

When Bellamy heard the bathroom door shut he looked at Lily, grinning. “Wanna make mommy laugh?” She tipped her head to the side. “How?”

Bellamys grin got bigger, it’d been way too long since he’d had the chance to do this. “We’re gonna tickle her.” Lily nodded excitedly, bouncing up and down on her knees.

They sat in the quiet until Clarke came back, pulling her daughter back onto her lap. Bellamy didn’t even give her a chance to get settled before he said, “Now Lily,” and they both turned on Clarke, tickling her like mad.

~~~~

Clarke slammed her bedroom door, startling Lily awake. 

It had been a week since the interview, but Abby had finally done it. She had finally pushed Clarke over the edge. 

Lily sat up in bed, hugging her bunny. “Mommy? Wats wong?” She rubbed her tired eyes with a fisted little hand.

Clarke laid her suitcase down just outside the closet and went to sit on the edge of the bed. She had her phone in one hand, dialing. Her free hand urged Lily to lay back down and rubbed circles on her back. 

“Hello?”

She sighed in relief. “Bellamy? I need help.” Carefully, Clarke stood from the bed, going back to the closet to finish packing.

“What’s wrong? Are you and Lily okay?” There was a hint of panic in his voice. He was already going to his room, pulling on a pair of jeans. 

“Can you come get us? I need to get out of here and I am not leaving Lily here with her.” The desperation was evident in her voice. 

“It’s okay. I’m on my way Clarke.” She nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. 

“And Bell? Thank you.” He smiled as the line went dead and started up his truck. He didn’t know what had set her off, but he knew he’d do anything for her.


	6. One Step Back

Clarke paced across the living room in the dark, Lily was laying on the couch, covered with a blanket, fast asleep with her bunny. She paused when headlights came through the large windows, lighting up the room. Leaving the room, she went to the front door, meeting Bellamy on the doorstep. He pulled her into a hug, holding her tight. 

“Lily’s sleeping,” she whispered as she pulled back, but not enough to pull out of his arms. 

Bellamy nodded, “Are you okay?” She only shrugged before finally pulling out of his arms and stepping back into the house. He followed her into the living room, watching her scoop up her daughter. 

“Do you want me to take her?” Clarke shook her head, staring at her little girl. 

Bellamy stepped back, gesturing for her to go ahead of him. At the front door, he grabbed the suitcase and locked the door behind him. Clarke was waiting for him a few steps away, watching him. Walking over to her, he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders and guided her to his truck. 

After opening the door to the back seat, he stepped back so Clarke could put Lily in her carseat and buckle her in. Stepping back, she shut the door. 

“This brings back memories, don’t you think Princess?” 

She watched him put her suitcase in the bed of the truck and shut the gate. “How many times,” he walked over and rested his hands on her shoulders, “have you called me, asking me to come get you?”

Clarke shrugged. Whenever she needed someone or something, he was always the one she’d call. She’d never really thought about it though. He had been her go to for a long time, even before they were actual friends. Once they had gotten past hating each other, they’d become instant best friends. And from there, they’d found themselves in a relationship. But even when they had hated each other, she had still trusted him. “Bellamy…”

“Get in the truck, Princess.” He was smiling at her, this smile that had always been reserved for Clarke and Octavia. 

They sat in silence as Bellamy backed out of the driveway and drove down the street. She watched him, the street lights lighting him up every few minutes. “You didn’t have to come. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called you.” 

He glanced at her before returning his eyes to the road. “What makes you say that?”

Clarke was quiet for a few more minutes, trying to figure out how to say this.

“Things are different now, I’ve been gone for a long time. I’m different, we’re _both_ different now…I shouldn’t have just called you. I could have fund another way. I’m sorry.” She leaned against the window, with her head against the glass, staring at the neighborhood flying by on the other side. Her first instinct to almost everything, was Bellamy. And apparently that still hadn’t changed after all these years. She hadn’t given calling him a second thought.

Clarke tensed when he put a hand on her thigh, and cautiously glanced over at him. 

He was still watching the road ahead of them, but he knew she was looking at him. Still not looking over at her, he gave her thigh a gentle squeeze as he pulled into a driveway at the end of the street.

Finally looking away from him, Clarke turned her gaze out the windshield, surprised at where they were. “You still live in your moms old house?”

“She passed away a few years ago, and the house was already paid off so I saw no sense in moving somewhere else.” He shut the engine off and climbed out of the truck as he spoke, Clarke following his lead. By the time she’d made it to the other side of the truck, Bellamy was already getting Lily out of the back seat.

She stood there, watching in amazement, as he settled Lily against himself. She whined softly when he slammed the back door. He just rubbed her back, softly whispering to her, and she quieted down again. 

Bellamy looked over and caught her staring, smiling at her softly. “What?” He whispered, continuing to rub Lilys back. 

Clarke shook her head slowly, smiling back at him as he walked over and opened the gate to the bed of the truck. She grabbed the suitcase before he could, “You have her, I can take this.” 

Bellamy simply nodded and led the way to the front door, unlocking it before he stepped back to let Clarke go in ahead of him.

Clarke looked around the old house, not much had changed over the years except it was much cleaner than it was last time Clarke had been inside. Some of the furniture was even the same. 

She let Bellamy lead the way down the hall. Bumping open the second door on the right with his shoulder, he stepped inside and went to the bed, pulling the sheets back and settling Lily under the blankets. 

Clarke stood in the doorway, realizing that they were in _his_ room. She opened her mouth to object, but closed it again when she couldn’t make words come out. She looked around, letting herself take it in. The pale blue walls, dark pinewood dresser next to the closet that he'd probable never used, the desk on the wall opposite the door, in front of a window that overlooked the back yard. His bed was in the middle of the wall to the left of the door, bookcases on either side of bed. 

She startled when he took the suitcase from her, and laid it down at the foot of the bed. 

Taking her hand, he led her back to the living room where they both settled down on the couch. “You didn’t have to give up your room for us.” 

Bellamy shook his head as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. “It’s fine, I don’t mind. Although, I seem to remember you being all too willing to kick me out of bed last time you were here.” He laughed softly.

She looked up at him, whispering, “That was a long time ago.” He looked down for a moment, hesitating for a second before saying, “Can I ask you something?” She nodded, leaning her head back against the couch. 

“You said that Finn isn’t Lily’s father,” She looked up at him again as he continued. “So I’m going to hope since she’s not his, you know who her father is…”

She had been dreading having this conversation with him and had avoided it for this long. She didn’t know what he was going to think of her when she told him. 

“She’s not Finns,” she stood up and walked across the living room, leaning on the window ledge for a moment. Gathering her courage, Clarke turned to face him and just spit it out, “Lily’s your daughter.”

Bellamy just stared at Clarke for a full minute, letting himself process what she just said. “Oh my god,” he mumbled, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. 

“I’m not expecting anything-” Clarke was cut off by the shrill ringtone of Bellamys phone. He accepted the call without saying anything, nodding to himself as he listened to whoever was on the other end. 

“I’ll be there soon.” He hung up the phone with a sigh. “I have to go to the station for a bit, will you be okay here on your own for a few hours?” Clarke nodded dejectedly, watching him stand and head down the hall to his room before reappearing and going into the bathroom across the hall to change into something a little more appropriate than jeans and an old sweatshirt. 

Clarke was still standing in front of the window when Bellamy walked out the front door two minutes later. Leaving without even a glance in her direction.

Going down the hall, Clarke went in his room and changed into a tank top and a pair of sweatpants, before crawling into bed with her daughter. 

~~~~

When Bellamy got back home hours later, he wanted nothing more than to get a few hours of sleep. He silently entered the house, locking up behind him as he slipped his shoes off. Making his way to his room, he peered through the open door to find Clarke and Lily sleeping soundly. 

Bellamy couldn’t help the smile that crept upon his lips at the sight of his two girls. Tearing his gaze away, he crept over to his dresser to grab some clothes to sleep in. Walking out, he stopped in the doorway and allowed himself one last glimpse of them before he pulled the door shut behind him. 

Once he had changed and was comfortable on the couch for the night with a pillow and some blankets, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his photos. There were pictures in there that he hadn’t let himself look at in years. 

One of him and Clarke wrapped in nothing but his comforter, her long hair wild. 

Clarke laying stretched across her bed in a pair of pajama pants and one of his sweatshirts, one of her textbooks open in front of her.

He didn’t think she even knew he took this one of her. Sighing, Bellamy put his phone on the coffee table and let himself drift off.

~~~~

“Mama?”

“Shh, whisper. Remember?”

“Mama? When will he wake up?” Lily asked again, much quieter this time. Clarke ran a hand nervously through her daughters curls before replying. 

“He’ll wake up, when he wakes up sweetie.” Clarke responded quietly as she flipped another pancake over. She couldn’t help but hope that it would be later rather than sooner. She wasn’t looking forward to finishing their conversation from the night before. He hadn’t seemed to like the idea of Lily being his…

“Good morning girls,” Clarke sighed softly, so much for her hope of him sleeping a little longer. 

“Princess, are you making me breakfast? That’s a nice change.” Clarke rolled her eyes before looking over her shoulder. His hair was a total wreck, wild curls everywhere, the shirt he wore was from a concert they went to years ago, and she was pretty sure his reindeer pajamas pants were ones she had gotten him at some point. 

“I mean, I _suppose_ I can make you some too.” She replied good-naturedly. It was the least she could do since she was in his house. 

“Whas on your pants?” Lily asked from where she sat on the counter next to the stove where Clarke was putting more batter on the griddle. 

“They’re reindeer, they pull Santas sleigh. I’m gonna jump in the shower real quick.” Stepping right behind Clarke he pressed a kiss to her temple before turning towards the bathroom.

Clarke stood there staring after him in a confused daze, she didn’t get it. “Why did he do that?” 

Lily was looking at her mom curiously, and all Clarke could do was shake her head. “I don’t know Lily, I don’t know…” 

They ate breakfast in silence until Clarkes phone rang from where it was sitting on the counter. Clarke saw Bellamy move to get up and grab her phone for her, but she was quicker. 

“I got it.” She stood and had her phone in her hand in seconds. Glancing at the caller I.D she declined the call and turned the phone off completely before her mother could call back. 

“Lily, why don’t you go potty, and then we can take a shower and get all nice and clean?” Lily nodded excitedly as she slid off the chair and walked to the hallway, waiting for Clarke to come with her. Lily had quickly grown to love showers.

Clarke went as far as the bathroom door, telling Lily she would come in, in just a minute. Bellamy stood at the end of the hall, watching her with his hands in his pockets.

He opened his mouth, but she spoke before he could. “I don’t want you telling Lily that you’re her father. I don’t want you confusing or upsetting her. I’m not expecting anything from you, so you have no reason to worry about it. I’ve managed with her on my own just fine. End of discussion.” 

And with that she went in the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She sighed softly, not knowing where that had come from. But she didn’t know how he felt about it, he’d left before they could really talk about it the night before. But if he said something about it in front of Lily and wasn’t planning on being a part of her life…she didn’t want Lily getting hurt.

~~~~

Bellamy stood at the end of the hall, staring at the spot where Clarke had been. 

He wanted to be a part of hers _and_ Lily’s lives. But he wasn’t so sure now that she wanted him in their lives at all. Heaving a long and tired sigh, he wrote a quick note saying he had to go to work and would bring home some dinner. 

Grabbing his keys off the small table by the door, he left, dreading seeing the guys at the station.

“Well, well, well, look who actually showed up.” Murphy called upon seeing Bellamy walk in. 

“Shut up, I came in last night.” 

“Only because it was an emergency. It’s nice to have my partner back.” Miller clapped him on the shoulder from where he was leaning against Bellamys desk.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry, I used up most of my time off. So you two slackers can lay off.” 

Murphy simply shrugged, he knew he pushed his work on to Bellamy. There was no point in denying it. Miller on the other hand, “Hey, I do my share of the work. I’ve been here while you’ve been off with Clarke!” 

“What?” Murphy spit out his coffee in shock. “Griffins back?”

Bellamy groaned, “Thank you Miller.”

Thus began the never ending questions. Bellamy couldn’t get out of there soon enough.

~~~~

One eight hour shift, and a detour to a nearby pizza joint later, Bellamy walked through his front door. 

Lily was standing a few feet in front of him, looking like a deer in the headlights. 

Stepping back, he pushed the door closed. “Hey Lily, did you have a good day?”

She nodded slowly, still staring at him. 

Slipping out of his shoes, he balanced their pizza in one hand so he could bend down and pick her up. “Do you want to help me with our pizza?”

She was stiff in his arms as he carried her into the kitchen and sat her on the counter. “Where is the pizza?”

“It’s right here,” he pointed to the pizza box still in his other hand.

Lily pointed to the oven, “Pizza lives there,” Bellamy was confused, he didn’t understand what she meant. 

“Lily, where’d you go sweetie?”

“Why don’t you go find Mommy? I think she’s looking for you.” Bellamy lifted her off the counter and put her feet on the floor. She walked away, watching him carefully. She only started running when the doorbell rang, instantly followed by wild pounding on the door.

Groaning in frustration, Bellamy went and answered the door. Swinging it open, he was only slightly surprised to see half of his friends.  

“Bellamy did you-” Clarke didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence.

“Clarke!” Miller, Murphy, and Monty all chorused as they pushed past Bellamy and strangled her in a group hug.

Bellamy stood next to the still open front door, watching his friends in slightly frustrated amusement. He wished his friends would have warned him that they were coming over, but he was glad that they were there all the same.

He pushed the door so it’d swing shut, but it stopped mid-swing and opened again. “Hey big brother, why wasn’t I invited to this party?”

“I wan’t aware we were having a party tonight. Hey O, hey Lincoln. Come on in.” Bellamy ran both his hands through his hair as his sister walked past him with her boyfriend in tow.

Looking back over at Clarke, Bellamy could tell she was getting overwhelmed with everyone and their nonstop questions. Apparently none of them had seen her interview, which comforted him slightly.

Finally shutting his front door, but leaving it unlocked since he had a feeling the rest of his friends would be making an appearance at some point, he went over to the group and managed to convince them to move to the living room and made them order more pizza. 

Just as he was about to follow them to the couch and it’s surrounding areas, he noticed a small head of blonde hair peeking through a door down the hall. Casting a glance to his friends, he didn’t think he’d be missed if he left for a minute or two.

As soon as he started down the hall, Lily ducked out of sight. 

Leaning in his doorway he noticed her peeking around the end corner of his bed, watching him carefully. 

Stepping just inside his room, he sat down and leaned back against the doorframe. “It’s okay Lily,” he spoke softly. “Do you want me to bring you to your Mama?” 

She moved a little farther around the corner. “Do you want to come with me?” She nodded, slowly crawling over to him. 

Lily held tight to his shirt as he held her in his arms and stood up. They moved over to the bed first, where Bellamy grabbed her gray bunny and handed it to her. “Bunny,” she whispered as he brushed her hair away from her face.

“Let’s go see Mama.” And with that he started back to the others, wondering if they’d even noticed that he had left. 

Lily laid her head against his shoulder, sighing softly as she held her bunny in one hand and petting its head with the other. She heard voices, and lifted her head, curious.

“No no no no,” Lily started squirming in Bellamys arms when she saw everyone, her cries gaining their attention.

“I want Mama, Mama!” Bellamy was already halfway across the living room, rubbing her back as he went. Standing behind the couch, he handed her to Clarke who had stood up to take her.

“It’s okay sweetie, it’s okay.” She curled up against her mom, squishing her bunny between them as Clarke settled back down on the couch.

Lily tugged on her moms shirt. When Clarke leaned down more, Lily whispered in her ear, "Like the bad man,"

Murphy who was sitting next to Clarke on the couch heard her and asked, "Who’s the bad man?" Lily whimpered, hiding her face in her moms shirt and Bellamy was more than happy for an excuse to hit Murphy upside the head. 

"Oh, can I have a turn hitting Murphy too?" 

Jasper asked eagerly as him and Raven came in and joined the group.

"Someone needs to order pizza," Bellamy stated, trying to change the topic as Jasper and Raven found seats around the already slightly crowded living room.

No one was listening though, everyone was staring at Clarke and Lily. After a few moments, Clarke realized everyone was watching her and stood up again. She was still talking quietly to Lily as she walked to the kitchen. 

"It’s okay Lily, no being scared-"

"So I take it you finally made a new friend?" Clarke looked and found Raven leaning against the wall. “I saw your interview the other day..."

Clarke’s face instantly fell, "I’m sorry I didn’t tell any of you guys. I’m still trying to get used to being home...I’ve missed you Raven."

Smiling, Raven moved and sat in the chair next to Clarke, she had a knee brace on. Clarke would have to ask her about that.

"Lily, can you say hi to your Auntie Raven? She’s Mamas friend, like Bellamy.” Lily held her bunny over what little of her face could be seen. 

“Have you ever held a real bunny Lily?" Lily shook her head, her forehead against her moms shirt and yawned. 

"Why don’t we go lay down sweetie?" 

"No, no, no. I want to be with you." She fisted Clarke’s shirt in her little hands, not caring she had dropped her bunny. "Stay with you."

Clarke ran her fingers through her hair and all the way down her back. "You can stay with me. And I’ll stay with you." She smiled down at the little girl.

“Should I take that question as a hint that you bought a rabbit?” Clarke joked, focusing her attention again on her friend.

"Does he know?" Raven didn’t hesitate to ask her own question instead of answering Clarkes. 

"Does who know what?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Does Bellamy-" 

"Raven, we’re not talking about that right now.” There were too many other people around who could hear them.

Raven was silent for a few minutes, before finally replying, “Look, I know you-”

“Raven. I’ve done just fine raising her on my own…I told him last night and he didn’t exactly seem that happy-”

Raven’s eyes widened slightly. “Clarke…”

“about it. But I don’t need…”

Raven pointed to a spot over Clarkes shoulder. 

Swallowing hard, Clarke looked behind her to find Bellamy standing behind her. His arms were crossed loosely over his chest, his expression was unreadable. Standing, she adjusted her hold on Lily and strode past him.

In the living room, she glanced around at all her friends. They were dinking what looked a lot like Monty and Jaspers Moonshine. It’d been too long since she’d had it. Going over to the only empty arm chair, she settled Lily on it, and covered her with the blanket that had been thrown over the back of it. 

Clarke turned and stared at the coffee table where the bottles of Moonshine were sitting. She hadn’t had any alcohol since Finn took her. Taking one of the empty cups, she poured herself a full glass. She looked back at Lily, sleeping peacefully. Clarke hated the idea of drinking alcohol around her daughter, but she needed this. 

Lily was sleeping.

One time wouldn’t hurt.

She downed everything that was in her cup, it burned as it went down her throat. She’s pretty sure it was stronger than it used to be.

By the time she was lowering the cup, she noticed everyones eyes on her once again. 

“Clarke? Are you okay?” Clarke looked over to where Octavia was standing a few feet away.  She had noticed Clarke swaying on her feet. 

“Whens the last time you had a drink?” Miller asked, he was still sitting on the couch. His elbows leaning on his knees as he watched the blonde carefully.

She shrugged as she refilled her cup. “A couple years…?” And with that said, Clarke downed the second cup, the burn in her throat lessening only slightly.

“Might wanna take it easy on the Moonshine Griffin,” Raven cautioned as she rejoined the group in the living room.

 


	7. They Care

It was just about 2am when Bellamy leaned against the wall, looking around at all his friends strewn around his living room. Lily was still sleeping in an armchair. Murphy had taken the other reclining armchair. Octavia and Lincoln were curled up together in one corner of the couch, Clarke was sitting slumped over in the other corner, with Miller passed out, sitting in the middle seat with his feet propped up on the coffee table. Monty and Jasper were both sprawled across the floor. And Raven was sitting on a corner of the coffee table, watching him closely.

Crossing over to the chair Lily was sleeping in, he bent down and gently lifted her into his arms, trying not to wake her. 

“What are you doing?” Raven was watching him with raised eyebrows. She was the only other one still awake. 

“Trust me, if she wakes up out here, around all of you guys, it’s not going to be pretty.” He replied simply as he made his way to his room.

Raven followed him to his room, watched him tuck the little girl into his bed, then followed him back to the living room. She watched him pick up Clarke, just as carefully as he had done with Lily even though there was no chance of her waking up any time soon, and smirked when their gazes met. “You still love her, don’t you?”

He looked down at Clarke, sleeping in his arms. “I do.” It was barely a whisper as he tightened his hold on her just a fraction. And with those two words hanging in the air, he turned and went back to his room, Raven following behind him.

She leaned her shoulder against the doorframe, watching Bellamy sit on the edge of the bed and settle Clarke under the blankets. “She still cares about you, you know.”

Bellamy didn’t respond as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. 

“She just needs time Bellamy. She went through _who knows_ what kind of hell while she was with Finn.”

~~~~

Bellamy woke up the next morning to his sister shaking him. He’d taken Clarkes spot on the couch after Raven had taken Lily’s armchair. “Bellamy? Bellamy, you have a princess puking her guts out in the bathroom, and a much smaller blonde hiding under the kitchen table.” 

Bellamy blinked, trying to process what Octavia was saying, still half asleep. 

“Bell!” Octavia exclaimed, hitting him in the side of the head. “Lily is under the kitchen table freaking out. _Do_ something!” No one wanted to get to close to the terrified little girl.

Sitting up, he nudged Octavia to the side so he could stand. Glancing around he realized his friends weren’t strewn across every piece of furniture in the room any more. But that wasn’t exactly surprising. 

Making his way to the kitchen, he took note of Murphy and Lincoln moving about the space. Again, not exactly surprising. 

Crouching down on one knee next to the table, he smiled gently at the scared little girl. She was on the floor with her back hunched against the wall, utter terror in her eyes. “Hey Lily, it’s okay,” he spoke softly, trying to avoid further spooking her. 

“Come here,” she shook her head, curling into a tighter ball and inching a little farther away from him, pointing at Murphy and Lincolns legs on the other side of the room.

“You’re safe here Lily, it’s okay.” She nodded once, slowly. Bellamy nodded too, his smile growing a little. 

He reached out for her, and this time she shuffled closer.  Once she was close enough, he pulled her into his arms, whispering, “What a brave little princess.”

Standing up with her tucked against him, he grabbed her bunny from where he’d put it on the table the night before, and handed it to her as he left the kitchen. One glance down the hallway left him pretty sure that Clarke was still in the bathroom.

Helping Clarke was his next priority.

Bellamy found Octavia still in the living room, stretched out on the couch. 

“Lily, I need you to stay with Auntie O for me okay?” He ran his fingers soothingly through her hair as he spoke.

Octavia looked up when she heard his voice, surprise written on her face when he sat Lily on her lap.

Lily looked at the dark haired girl before trying to climb off the couch. She was stopped by a pair of hands, his hands. “Lily,” 

She looked up at him. She wanted to be with him or her Mommy.

Mommy...

Where was Mama?

“Where’s Mama?” Lily looked around the room, hoping her mom was there somewhere and she just didn’t know.

“I’m gonna go get her, okay Lily? I need you to stay here with Auntie O while I go get her. Okay?” He spoke slowly, wanting to keep Lily calm.

She shook her head in disagreement. 

Octavia sat there silently, not really knowing if she was okay with being responsible for the little girl that clearly didn’t want to stay with her.

Nudging Octavia’s legs towards the inside of the couch, Bellamy sat on the edge of the seat and Lily crawled over to him. 

He thought for a moment before suggesting with a smile, “How about Auntie O braids your hair while I’m gone, so when Mommy’s here she’ll be surprised?” 

When Lily nodded reluctantly and crawled closer to Octavia, Bellamy stood, squeezed his sisters shoulder in thanks, and went down the hall to deal with Clarke, Octavia staring helplessly after him.

~~~

Miller was still sitting on the floor outside the bathroom door. “I tried to help her, but she just kept yelling at me to get out…”

Bellamy nodded, understanding. They both knew how Clarke could be when she didn’t feel good. She was stubborn and hard-headed on a good day.

“I’ll take care of her, don’t worry about it.” Bellamy reached out to help his friend off the floor, watching him go down the hall and turn towards the living room. 

He knocked softly on the bathroom door, calling, “Clarke?” He could hear her gasping, “Go away Bellamy.”

Turning the knob, he pushed the door open. “Last I checked Princess, I didn’t take orders from you.” There was no heat behind his words as he shut the door and settled down on the floor behind her. 

Gathering her hair in his hands, he pulled it farther back from her face. Holding her long blonde hair with one hand, he soothingly rubbed her back with the other. “And this is why everyone was telling you to go easy on the Moonshine last night.”

She sat back on her heels, not fighting him when he pulled her back to lean against him. Knowing he, and their friends, had been right, she ignored his comment and instead asked, “Where’s Lily?”

“She’s on the couch with Octavia. Don’t worry about her.” Bellamy replied, running his fingers lightly up and down her arms. 

Nodding, Clarke stood on wobbly legs, trying to step around him to get to the door. 

“Easy there Princess,” he jumped to his feet when he saw her sway slightly. He reached out to steady her, only for Clarke to turn and grab the edge of the sink, dry heaving. 

When she finally stood upright again, he wrapped an arm around her waist. “Why don’t we go and get you some seltzer and toast?” 

Nodding, Clarke let him lead her to the living room where she paused, seeing her daughter sitting quietly with Octavia while her hair was being pulled back into a nice dutch braid. 

“Lily, what do you say to Auntie Octavia for braiding your hair?”

Lily immediately jumped to her feet and leaned over the back of the couch, reaching for her mother. 

Bellamy instantly stepped forward and pulled the little girl into his arms, before guiding Clarke around to sit on the couch, passing the squirming girl to her mom now that she was seated.

“Lily, what do you say?” Clarke asked again, gesturing to Octavia. 

Lily looked down at her bunny that she hadn’t let go of since she’d gotten it back. Petting its long fluffy ears, she whispered, “Thank you,” before looking up to her mom for approval. 

Clarke kissed the top of her daughters head before tickling her sides lightly, causing her shrill laughs to fill the room. “Thank you for keeping an eye on her this morning.” 

Octavia shrugged at Clarke with a small smile before going back to scrolling through her Facebook feed on her phone, only to get up a second later when Lincoln called for her.

Clarke smiled when Miller sat down on the floor across from her, two cups of coffee in his hands, with the coffee table between them. Sitting with his feet stretched out in front of him, he leaned on the coffee table and passed her a cup of coffee.

Lily froze when he sat down with them, relaxing slightly when he didn’t come any closer. She listened to him and her mom talk, he made her mama laugh. But he wasn’t like Bellamy. He was different. 

Laying on her belly, she stuck her head over the edge of the couch. “Mama,”

“Yes, sweetie. What is it?” Clarke asked, instead of replying to Millers last comment. 

Lily pointed to his socks. “They’re broken.”

Frowning, Clarke leaned forward to look at where her daughter was pointing, laughing. Miller had a huge hole in the toe of one of his socks, and his big toe was hanging out. “His sock _is_ broken, I think he needs a new one.”

Standing up, Clarke promised to be right back and left in search of her phone, she’d have to get used to having one again.

Lily watched her mother walk away before turning and pointing at Miller. “You’re different…” her voice was no more than a whisper.  She scooted a little closer to the edge of the couch, curious.

He looked like the chocolate she sometimes got on treat days in Box.

~~~~

Clarke found her phone on the charger in Bellamy’s room.

There were a dozen missed calls, several voicemails, and a handful of texts, all from her mother.

Sighing, Clarke got dressed. She knew she’d have to go back and talk to her mom, try to make nice with her, and possibly get more clothes if she couldn’t. Venturing back to the main area of the house, Clarke watched Lily and Miller talking quietly to each other. Slipping into the kitchen before she could be seen by her daughter, she found Lincoln, Murphy, and Bellamy serving up breakfast while Octavia supervised from her seat on the counter.

“Bellamy…” she hesitated before finally asking, “can I borrow your truck?”

He turned around with plates of fresh waffles and fruit in his hands. “Can I ask why before I hand over my keys?” In the past her wanting to borrow his truck had been pretty common, hell Clarke had been the reason he’d bought his last truck, something a little nicer than the piece of junk he’d been driving when she got her license. She’d never driven his current one.

“To my mothers, I need to talk to her about some things, try to smooth everything out a bit.” It didn’t escape his notice that she didn’t call it home. 

“Lincoln and I can take you, or it can be just you and me if you don’t want Lincoln to come.” Octavia piped up as she swiped a plate from Murphy. He glared at her before turning to make another plate for himself.

Clarke turned to Octavia, “Are you sure? I can always just figure out another way…” she didn’t want to impose on her friends or make them feel bad for saying no.

“Clarke, we can take you.” She turned to Lincoln and smiled gratefully.

“Thank you!”

Lincoln took one of the plates from Bellamy and made his way to the living room, Octavia already digging into hers as she followed him. Bellamy turned and grabbed a plate of buttered toast from the counter before heading into the living room, Clarke and Murphy following behind him. 


	8. The Return

Lily stood in the doorway, watching the car pull out of the driveway. She wanted to go with Mommy, but Mommy said she had to stay here. She jumped when someone put a hand on her shoulder.

She wanted to run and hide until she heard his voice. “How about you come and help me with a project Lily?”

He was smiling down at her, waiting for her to take his hand. Nodding slowly, Lily reached out and took his hand, staring over her shoulder at the driveway where her Mommy had left her.

“Miller?” Bellamy called as he led Lily through the house.

“Right here,” Millers voice drifted through a partially open door at the end of the hall.

Lily tugged on his hand when they reached the end of the hall, “What are we doing?”

There was a crash in the other room before he could answer, reaching forward he pushed the door open the rest of the way and hurried inside to check on his friend.

Lily followed him a little bit slower. She looked around the room curiously. It had a really big window with a seat in front of it. She looked over to Bellamy, helping his friend get out from under something, before scurrying over to the window.

Bellamy helped Miller out from under the boxspring before looking around for Lily. Miller followed his gaze, smiling at the little girl that was curled up in a corner of the window seat, looking out at the back yard. “You really wanna do this, man?” Miller asked without taking his gaze off the little blonde.

Bellamy nodded, an easy smile appearing. “Yeah, I really want to…” and he walked over to Lily, sitting next to her.

Miller simply shook his head before getting back to moving what was left of the furniture.

~~~~

“Lily?”

“Mommy!” Clarke looked up to see Lily come running from the end of the hallway. She ran into Clarke, hugging her legs as tight as she could.

“I missed you.” Clarke smiled down at her, before picking her up and hugging her. “I missed you too sweetie, did you have fun today?” Lily nodded, relaxing against her mom.

“I helped Bell and Miller today.” Clarke raised her eyebrows at her daughter, looking up when she heard footsteps coming.

“I’m told Lily was a good helper today?” Miller nodded, ruffling Lily’s hair that had long since come out of its braid as he walked by.

Lily simply laughed and tried to hit his hand, much to Clarke’s surprise.

“Bellamy should be out in a few minutes, oh we gave Lily dinner too.” Miller called as he headed out, waving as he pulled the door shut behind him.

Clarke stared after him, either he’d really changed while she was gone or he was acting extremely weird.

“He’s nice.” Lily chirped quietly, she was smiling though.

“Yeah, he is nice. Millers a friend.” Lily nodded in agreement whispering, ‘a friend’ as Clarke started towards the bathroom, planning on jumping in the shower.

Bellamy stepped out of his room, dressed for work. He must’ve had a late shift again.

“Hey, I didn’t hear you come in. How’d it go with your mom?” She stopped a few steps in front of him.

“Not as well as I was hoping,” she let Lily slide to the ground and nudged her toward the bathroom door. Once she was out of sight, Clarke continued more quietly, “Can we stay here for a few more days? I promise I’ll figure something else-”

Bellamy put a hand on her arm and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. “Princess, I’d never kick you out. I was actually going to talk to you about that in the morning.”

When she looked up at him, there was still uncertainty in her eyes. “You know I still care about you right?” She looked down, closing her eyes as she laid her head on his shoulder. “I hope you realize I’d be willing to sleep on my couch for the rest of my days if it means you and Lily are here with me.”

“Mama?” Lily came back into the hall, watching the two adults.

Bellamy presses a kiss to Clarke’s temple before loosening his hold on her and saying, “My shift ends at three. I’ll see you two in the morning okay?”

Clarke nodded as she stepped away from him and moved towards her daughter.

“Bell? Are you leaving?” A quiet, timid voice asked.

He turned, surprised to see Lily not too far away from him

“I have to go to work, but I’ll be back real soon.” Bellamy answered, bending down on one knee, waiting to see what the little girl would do next.

Lily looked up at her Mom before looking back at Bellamy. “Come back.” And then she ran back into the bathroom.

Clarke held his gaze for a moment longer before turning and following her daughter into the bathroom.

~~~~

Clarkes eyes snapped open, but she remained perfectly still. There was another thump followed by a crash. Ever so silently, she climbed out of bed and put her ear against the door. She could hear someone making their way through the house, and she had this gut feeling that it wasn’t Bellamy.

Springing into action, she moved back to the bed and woke Lily. She stirred, whining softly at being woken up until Clarke put a finger to her daughters lips. Picking Lily up, Clarke moved over to Bellamys empty closet, there was a crawl space that was all but invisible unless you knew it was there. Kneeling down in front of it, she whispered to Lily, “You need to stay in here. Don’t make a peep until I come back for you okay?”

Lily nodded, utter terror shining in her eyes as she crawled as far as she could into the small space. “I’ll be back soon sweetie.” She knew her mommy was scared.

Clark shut the closet door most of the way, so it’d look inconspicuous. Going back to the bedroom door, she listened. She could still hear whoever it was moving around. Slipping into the hallway, she crept towards the kitchen.

She was pretty sure that was where she’d left her phone earlier.

“There you are Princess.” Clarkes stomach dropped.

She knew that voice, and it wasn’t Bellamys.

“What are you doing here Finn?” She turned to look at him and kept her voice level, not wanting to make the situation worse than it already was.

“What are **you** doing here!” Finn roared, and Clarke couldn’t help but be grateful Lily was already awake. “You don’t belong here with him!”

She took a small step backwards, towards the kitchen where she was really hoping her phone was.

“I’m not about to let you take my kid away from me, so how about you tell me where she is, then the three of us will be on our way.” Finn growled. He noticed she’d stepped back and took a large step towards her.

“She’s not here Finn.” Clarke wasn’t about to tell him that Lily wasn’t his. She didn’t know what he’d do to the little girl if he knew, and she wasn’t about to risk him hurting her.

“You bitch, stop lying. I know she’s here, you’re too protective to not have her in the same house as you.” He took another step closer. “Now, where the hell is she?”

Clarke took another small step back. She was at the end of the hall, finally. “I’ll never let you take her.” And with that she ran to her right, into the living room. There was bound to be something she could use to defend herself.

“Oh Clarke,” she could hear him getting close to the end of the hall and she ducked behind one of the armchairs. She should’ve gone to the left towards the kitchen.

The kitchen had knives.

“You do know I’ll find her eventually. This house is only so big. If you wanna be difficult, then I’ll just have to get rid of you.” Finn was standing in the center of the living room, looking around, if the lights had been on he definitely would have seen her.

“Come on _Princess_ ” he sneered, “don’t make it worse for yourself.”

Clarke shifted slightly so she was completely behind the arm chair. Letting out a shuddering breath, she closed her eyes and rested her head against the chair for a moment, and tried to control her breathing, listening to his footsteps.

“Do you really want me to hurt her?”

Clarke held her breath, she was pretty sure he was standing in front of the chair she was hiding behind.

Everything was silent for a few minutes and she held her breath.

“Princess…”

Clarkes eyes shot open.

That had come from right behind her.

She slowly turned around, and was met with his feral grin. Getting to her feet, she bowed her head slightly, looking as if she was about to admit defeat before turning and running.

Finn grabbed her around her wrist before she had taken two steps. “You thought you could get away from me! You were wrong.”

“You. Are. Mine!” He yanked her closer, pressing his mouth to hers, biting her bottom lip as his hands slipped under her shirt, pushing it up.

Fighting to get free, she kicked him in the shin and ran.

There was a foot between her and the doorway to the kitchen when there was a bang that made her freeze. She’d know a gunshot anywhere. Looking over her shoulder, she saw the gun in his hand.

There was another bang, shortly followed by a loud crash as everything slowed down around Clarke.

A numbness spread through her. She looked down at herself, some ignored part of her brain wishing she’d put pants on before climbing in bed the night before. Red was slowly spreading across the oversized shirt she had on. She put a hand over the growing red spot curiously, wondering why it was turning red when the shirt was grayish. The second her hand brushed her wound the pain washed over her. 

She could vaguely hear someone calling her name as she fell to her knees, passing out from the sheer intensity of the pain.

Bellamy saw her collapse from where he was just about sitting on Finns back, handcuffing him. Standing, he passed Finn off to Murphy, before hurrying over to Clarke.

He gently rolled her over, her blood covered almost the entire front of the shirt she was wearing. “How long till the ambulance get here?” He called to Miller, Murphy and his partner Harper.

“Should be here any minute.” Murphy called from where he was by the door, dragging Finn out to their car.

“Where’s Lily?” Miller asked, coming to kneel by Clarke and Bellamy.

Bellamys breath caught in his throat, he hadn’t seen Lily yet. He’d had Harper do a quick sweep of the house to make sure there wouldn’t be any other surprises, but she hadn’t brought Lily back with her, so he assumed she hadn’t seen the little girl either. “I have to go find her, can you…” he didn’t want to leave Clarke but he knew Miller would make sure she was taken care of.

“Go man, I can handle this, meet us at the hospital.” They could see the lights of the ambulance through the windows. Clarke would be okay.

Getting up, Bellamy headed down the hall. He searched every room were she could be hiding, pausing outside his room.

He didn’t know if Finn had been in here, and he had to prepare himself for the worst.

Opening the door, he was pleased enough to see that it didn’t look like Finn had been in here. But Lily’s stuffed bunny was in the bed, and she wasn’t. “Lily?”

“Lily,” he called softly as he moved around the room, checking everywhere. Turning, he realized he hadn’t checked the closet, more often than not he forgot it was even there. Opening the door revealed the empty space. Crouching down, he knelt in front of the crawl space. Clarke and Octavia had always loved hiding in there when they were little.

Lily was sitting as far back into the as she could be, her whole body shaking with sobs that never made it past her lips because she had her hands over her little mouth and tears in her eyes.

“Lily, it’s okay.” He reached out to her.

She whimpered, shying away. She hadn’t made a sound while her mom had been gone.

“Lily, come here. It’s okay now.” She shook her head, mommy said to stay there until she came back. Mommy needed to come back.

“Mommy said to stay here…” her words were interrupted by her sobs.

“I know, but I need you to come with me now,” he didn’t want to tell her that Clarke was hurt, but she would have to find out eventually. “We need to go see Mommy.” She still wouldn’t move.

Trying another tactic, he stood and went to the bed and grabbed her bunny before going and sitting in front of the crawl space again. He held her bunny out, hoping she would come where he could reach her.

She perked up slightly at seeing her favorite stuffed animal.

He set it down at the edge of the crawl space and moved backwards a bit. He wanted her to feel safe, like she could trust him. She needed to know that she could trust him.

She watched him for a minute before crawling to her bunny and hugging it tight.

“Bell?” She asked, looking up at him. “Where’s Mommy?”

He could see more tears falling. “We’re gonna go see her okay? She’ll be so happy to see you.”

She nodded slowly, “I wanna go see Mama…”

Taking that as his cue, Bellamy got his feet under him and scooped Lily up. She whimpered softly before relaxing against him. She yawned throughout her tears and he glanced at the clock, almost 4am. No wonder she was tired.

Bellamy opened the hall closet and pulled out a small throw blanket to cover her with on the drive to the hospital.


	9. I'm Here

Lily was fighting to stay awake as Bellamy pulled up to emergency room doors, basically throwing his keys at the valet driver. Getting Lily out of her seat and wrapping the blanket a bit more around her, he made his way to the desk to find Clarke.

“I’m looking for Clarke Griffin, she came in by ambulance. She should’ve arrived around 10-15 minuets ago.” Bellamy spoke quickly, but soft enough to keep from frightening Lily.

The receptionist nodded, checking the computer. 

“She’s in room 113,” she pointed to a door to her left, “go through those doors, take a right. When you come to another set of doors go left and her room with be down that hall.” 

Bellamy nodded, muttering a quick, “Thank you,” as he made his way to the first set of doors. 

“Bell,” Lily’s voice was so soft and quiet that he almost missed it. “I want Mama.”

“I know, Lily. We’re going to see her. I promise.” He slowed down a little as he came to the second set of doors. They were going to see Clarke, he had no doubt about it, but he was worried about the state they’d find her in. 

Pushing through the door, he found the ER alive and busy, Lily buried her face in his shoulder, not liking where they were. “Mama...” her whimper almost broke his heart.

“I know baby girl, I know.” He murmured, looking around for someone to point him in the direction of Clarke, everyone was busy.

Walking forward, he started looking for room numbers. 

Finally finding her room, he looked inside to see them preparing to move her. He stepped back away from the door, and put a hand to the back of Lily’s head, urging her to lay her head down so she wouldn’t see her mom in the bed being rolled past them. “Excuse me, where are you taking her? I’m her roommate.” Bellamy asked one of the nurses that hadn’t rushed past him. 

“She was shot. They’re bringing her up to the OR to remove a bullet from her stomach. If you come with me, I’ll bring you to the waiting room where you can wait for her.” 

Bellamy nodded, “Thank you,” and hurried after the nurse. 

Making sure Lily kept her head down, they followed the nurse and rode the elevator to another floor where she led them to a nicer looking waiting room. “Someone will come and find you when she gets out of surgery.”

“Thank you,” relief was heavy in his voice. 

Nodding she turned and headed back to the elevator

Lily shifted slightly in his arms, having fallen asleep in the elevator. 

Sighing, Bellamy made his way over to one of the chairs that he could see the door from, and carefully settled down in it. Shifting Lily to his lap, he held her tight and rocked her gently against him.

He really wanted her to get some sleep.

The minutes slowly ticked by as he sat in that chair, listening to nothing but the clock on the wall ticking and Lily’s steady breathing. 

All Bellamy could think about was how it was all his fault. Clarke had been in his house, she’d thought she was safe. He hadn’t even been there to protect her, if he had gotten home even a minute later then he did…if he’d stopped to help Harper pick up the paperwork that she’d dropped…he would have been too late.

Who knows how far Finn would have gone. 

He might have killed Clarke.

He might have taken Lily…or if he realized that Lily wasn’t his…

Finn might’ve killed Lily. 

Bellamys head dropped back and thumped softly against the wall as that last thought crossed his mind, Lily was innocent in all this. She’d been, quite literally, _born_ into that box and the hellish situation that came with it.

Clarke had spent the last six years of her life just trying to survive and protect her daughter…had she known that she was pregnant that night she’d been taken? Bellamy didn’t know, but he felt he deserved to know since it was _his_ daughter sleeping in his arms right now.

“Detective Blake,”

Bellamys head snapped up, a nurse was standing in front of him, waiting for him to notice her. He sat a little taller in his seat, waiting to hear what she had to say. 

“Ms. Griffin is out of surgery, everything went well. She’s sleeping in a recovery room.”

Bellamy nodded, letting this information sink in. 

“Would you like to see her?” Bellamy nodded again, getting to his feet to follow her to Clarkes room. When he glanced at a clock on the wall, he was shocked to see he’d been sitting in that chair for a little over two hours. And Lily was still fast asleep.

The nurse stopped at the doorway, and gestured for him to enter. “Thank you,” he whispered as he walked past her. 

The dim room was so quiet, the loudest thing being Clarks monitors beeping steadily away. She was so still, only the slight rise and fall of her chest proved that she was still actually breathing. 

Silently crossing the room, he took a seat on the edge of the bed. Keeping one arm around Lily to keep her from sliding off his lap, he used his free hand to take one of Clarkes. Her hand was so cold compared to his own. He squeezed it gently, and heaved a huge sigh of relief when she stirred, her breathing changing slightly.

Bellamy felt all the tension in his body just melt away when her eyes slowly blinked open, he watched her trying to focus on him. 

“B-Bellamy?” Confusion obvious in her voice. She turned her head to the other side before looking back at him.

Leaning forward a little bit, he squeezed her hand again, a small, relieved, smile forming on his lips. “I’m right here Princess.”

Lily shifted against him, slowly waking up. She rubbed her eyes with one of her hands, the other still holding her bunny to her, as it had all night, before blinking a couple times. 

“Mama?” When her eyes finally focused, she started crying again, reaching wildly for her mom, but she made no other move to get closer. 

“Hey sweetie,” Clarke tried to sit up, only to groan softly before laying back down again.

“Mommy?” Lily was sobbing again, but no one could blame her after the night she’d had. Hell, Bellamy wanted to cry too, but he knew he had to be the strong one and take care of the girls. _His_ girls. 

Standing up, Bellamy changed his hold on the little blonde and sat her on the bed as close to Clarkes head as he could manage since her bed wasn’t flat, but at a slight angle so she wasn’t completely laying down. 

“I’m right here Lily, I’m right here.” Clarke wrapped an arm around her daughter, urging her to lay down. 

“You d-didn’t come back…” Lily chocked out between sobs, not moving from where Bellamy had sat her on the bed. 

Clarke felt her heart break, almost crying herself at the pain and fear that her daughter went through tonight. 

“I know, but I’m right here. I’m right here.” Clarke urged gently, trying to get Lily to move a little closer to her. Finally relenting, Lily inched closer to her mom until she was laying right next to her, curled against her. 

Through all this Bellamy stood a few feet away from the bed, watching carefully for any sign from Clarke that she was in pain. 

Barely a minute after Lily had laid down, a young nurse knocked on the wall next to the door before walking over, “Oh good, I’m glad to see you’re awake.”

Lily whimpered, hiding her face in the white hospital gown that her mom was wearing. 

“I’m Maya. And who is this little cutie?” The nurse asked as she pulled up something on her iPad. 

“This is Lily, my daughter.” Clarke replied as Lily tried to bury herself a little deeper in the hospital gown. 

Putting her iPad on the foot of the bed, Maya stepped closer asking if she could take a look at Clarkes stitches and how her pain was. 

Bellamy stepped forward, “Lily, why don’t you come with me for a few minutes.” She didn’t move a muscle.

“Lily, I need you to go to Bell for a few minutes.” Clarke tried, she didn’t really know if she wanted Lily to see her stitches. She didn’t know if _she_ wanted to see her stitches herself yet.

Lily looked up at her mom, tears forming in her eyes, “Stay with you,”

Deciding it wasn’t worth upsetting her, Clarke relented. “Okay, but you have to be very quiet so Maya can do her job okay?” Lily nodded, looking up at her mom. Wiping away her daughters tears, she told Maya to go ahead. 

~~~

The day had come and gone, and Lily was fast asleep in the hospital bed next to her mom. Clarke was still running her fingers through her hair even though Lily wasn’t about to wake up. It soothed her.

“Thank you for taking care of her.” Clarke wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“You don’t need to thank me Clarke. It was pretty smart to have her hide in the crawl space in my closet. I had Murphys new partner do a sweep of the house after we got there and she didn’t see or hear Lily.”

Clarke smiled at that. “She’s good at that. She listens really well, even when she’s scared. I take it that she was still there when you found her?”

He nodded. “She didn’t want to come to me because I wasn’t you. You told her to stay, so she was gonna stay there. I had to goad her out with her bunny.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Clarke, what happened last night?” Bellamy needed to know what happened, not just because he was a detective, but for his own sanity. He cared about her too much to not know.

“There was a crash, then I heard someone moving around the house. I had a bad feeling and told Lily to hide in the crawl space, I told her not to move or make a sound until I went back to get her.” 

Bellamy nodded, listening but not wanting to interrupt her, worrying that if she stopped, that’d be the end of it.

“I crept down the hall trying to find my phone, Finn was behind me. He wanted to take me and Lily with him. When I wouldn’t tell him where she was, he threatened me and I made a run for it and hid behind one of the recliners. He got behind me, and got his hands on me…I kicked and ran for the kitchen, then he shot. Then he shot again, and….all I remember after that is hearing someone scream my name. Next thing I know, I’m waking up here to you and Lily.” She didn’t wanna tell him that Finn had kissed her and probably would have done more if she hadn’t gotten free, knowing would only bother him. He didn’t need to know that.

“You did good Princess, lasting as long as you did. I’m so sorry, you should’t have had to go through that though. You should’ve been safe.”

She finally looked him in the eye as he continued. “We got him though. He’s at the station under lock and key. And I’m gonna get a good security system for the house. As long as you’re there, I want you to feel safe.” 

“Bellamy, you don’t have to do that. As soon as they discharge me, I’m going to figure out somewhere else for us to go. I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

“Princess, I told you, I don’t want you to leave.” He leaned forward and took one of her hands in both of his. “Clarke…” the easy smile that had been on his face for the last few hours slipped. “I’m not going to try to make you stay, but in _no way_ am I going to tell you that you have to leave.”

Bellamy just wanted her to understand that she was wanted, she looked so defeated. 

“Bellamy, look, I know you didn’t sign up for a kid…” Clarke refused to look away from her daughter sleeping peacefully next to her. “I’m not going to force you to live with her and help take care of her. You didn’t even know about her, let alone that she was yours until a few days ago. You don’t need to feel obligated to to be there for her-”

“Clarke,” Bellamy interrupted, slightly exasperated. He took a deep breath, reminding himself that Lily was sleeping right there. “Clarke, I want to help you take care of Lily. I want to live with her. I want to get to know her and be a part of her life! I love her, just like I love you!”

Clarke stared at him in shock. She had no idea that he’d felt this way…he loved her daughter, no...he loved _his_ daughter. Because Lily was his daughter too…Bellamy loved them.

“Bell…” she didn’t know what to say. That little speech of his was the last thing she had expected to hear. 

His smile was back. “It’s okay Princess, I’m gonna go home. Do you want me to take Lily with me?”

Clarke shook her head, there was no way Lily would be waking up somewhere else in the morning. She wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted Bellamy to leave either though. She hadn’t been alone since she woke up that morning, and still had this small fear that Finn was just waiting for his chance.

She didn’t stop him though.

She watched him walk out the door, not entirely sure what to think about what went on the last few minutes. Wrapping her arms tighter around Lily, Clarke laid there hoping for some sleep as thoughts about the last twenty-four hours raced across her mind.

 

 

 


	10. Repricussions

The following morning, Bellamy walked into Clarke’s hospital room carrying a tray of drinks, a backpack of clothes slung over one shoulder, and a smile on his face at the sight of his two favorite blondes.

Clarke and Lily were sitting mostly up in bed, talking together. He couldn’t hear what they were talking about though. 

Neither of them noticed him so he called out, “knock, knock,” as he got closer to the bed. 

Lily instantly looked up, he saw fear flash across her face before she recognized him. 

Clarke was slower to look his way, but he figured she’d probably been expecting him to show up at some point. She looked tired, light circles forming under her eyes, eyes that her smile didn’t quite reach. It was a little too forced for Bellamys liking. 

Dropping the backpack to the floor, he settled himself on the edge of the bed. “Here, this one’s yours,” he passed Clarke her coffee.

As she looked closer, Clarke realized that ‘Princess’ was written on her cup. Her smile got a little brighter. Taking a sip, she sighed happily. This was the best coffee she’d had in the last six years.

“And here’s one for our Little Princess,” Lily perked up slightly, watching warily as he waited for her to take the offered cup. He thought he heard Clarke gasp softly.

Carefully she reached out and took it from him, staring at her drink as if it would bite her. Her cup had ‘Little Princess’ written on it. “What do you say Lily?” She looked up at her mom before turning back to him.

“Thank you…” pushing herself onto her knees, Lily put her drink on the bedside table before turning and gently tugging on the sleeve of Clarkes gown. 

“I have to go potty,” Clarke nodded, whispering back for her to go by herself and ask for help washing her hands. She’d asked the nurses to put a small stool in the bathroom yesterday since Lily couldn’t reach the sink to turn the water on by herself, but she didn’t know if it was in there yet. 

Scooting forwards, Lily slid off the bed and went to the bathroom, not shutting the door completely though because it was too heavy for her to open alone. 

“Princess, did you sleep at all last night?”

Clarke shook her head, not meeting his gaze. Her head had been too full of worry and thoughts of Finn and Bellamy to get any sleep.

“Clarke, you need sleep…” he placed one of his hands over her free one and opened his mouth to say something else, but Lily interrupted. 

“I can’t reach,” they both looked over to see her standing just outside the door to the bathroom.

Clarke moved to get up, but Bellamy was quicker. “I’ll help her,” when he noticed her hands were trembling he took her coffee and added, “I’m starting to think you need sleep more than that coffee.” Putting the coffee on the table with Lilys drink, he left to help her.  

Sighing, Clarke laid back, letting her head fall back on the pillows and looked up at the ceiling. No matter how much Bellamy insisted, she knew she wouldn’t be getting any sleep today. 

She laid there, listening to Bellamy talk to Lily about putting on some clean clothes as they walked out of the bathroom. Was he talking about clothes that _he_ brought for her? 

He must be.

“Mommy will you help?” Her little voice came from next to the bed. 

“Lily, mommy needs to rest right now.” Bellamy replied, hoping that Clarke had already fallen asleep. 

“I’ll help you sweetie, can you climb up here for me?” Clarke sat up, watching her daughter throw the clothes on the bed before climbing up. 

Bellamy watched her carefully before moving over to the window so Clarke could help her change in private. He could hear them whispering softly, and it made him smile. He hoped to have a close relationship with Lily, _his daughter,_ someday. 

~~~~

When Clarke was released from the hospital later that night, Bellamy brought the three of them home in his truck only to find a very ticked off Abigail Griffin leaning against his front door. 

“Can we just go back to the hospital?”

Bellamy looked over at Clarke only to find her already staring pleadingly at him. She was serious. To he, being stuck in a hospital was better than facing her mother. 

A sharp knock on Bellamys window startled them, both of them jumping in shock. Abby was standing on the other side of the door, waiting impatiently for them.

Instead of rolling down the window, Bellamy unbuckled his seatbelt and pushed open the door, forcing Abby to back away. Once his feet were on the ground he turned to the door to the back seat.

Opening the door, he carefully unbuckled and settled Lily in his arms against him. She was fast asleep.

Clarke gingerly climbed out of the front seat and shut the door, probably a little harder than she should have, she thought as she made her way towards Bellamy.

“How could you be admitted to the hospital and not inform me!” Abby spoke viciously as she met Clarke in front of the truck.

“I didn’t call you, because I didn’t want to deal with you.” Clarke replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

“I didn’t want you there.”

Clarke and Abby stood there glaring at each other until Bellamy called from the doorstep, “Clarke,” when she looked over at him, he continued. “Come on, you need to rest.”

She could see the worry in his eyes and dropped her arms, wrapping them around herself. “I’m coming Bell,”

As soon as Bellamy knew she was going to come inside, he went ahead to put Lily in bed.

Looking back at her mother once she was halfway to the door she added, “You should go home.” And with that, she stormed into the house, shutting the door behind her. 

Leaning against it, Clarke groaned softly. Her stitches were pulling. Biting her lip to try to keep the pain at bay, she took a slow step forward, nearly doubling over in pain. 

“That’s what you get for nearly jumping out of the truck.” 

The was no heat or anger behind his words. Just concern.

Stepping next to her, Bellamy wrapped an arm around her back and bent to slide the other under her knees, lifting her carefully.

“I can walk,” she protested, but they both knew she wouldn’t have made it even as far as the couch on her own. It had been her anger that got her as far as the door.

“I got you Princess.” He murmured, lowering her onto the couch. He was pretty sure she’d need to talk after having her mother show up, and since Lily was asleep in his bed, the couch was the next best spot. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes after they were settled, him waiting for her to be ready to talk. 

“Bellamy?”

When he looked over, he found that, once again, Clarke was already watching him. 

“Did you…” _mean what you said last night?_ She trailed off, having lost her courage to ask almost as soon as she opened her mouth. “I’m gonna go to bed,” and with that, Clarke got to her feet as fast as she could without aggravating her stitches, and hobbled off to bed. 

Silently shutting the bedroom door behind her, Clarke made her way to bed and laid on top of the blankets, not bothering to change into pajamas or pull a blanket over her. 

Lily opened her eyes sleepily, crawling out from under the blankets and settling on top of them, she curled against her mother before letting her eyes close again. She sighed contently as she slipped easily back to sleep. 

Clarke wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter, listening to her soft, even breathing. What felt like hours later, though it had really only been a few minutes, she heard the bedroom door open and closed her eyes. He was better off thinking she was asleep.

Bellamy crossed his room silently. Watching the two on the bed, he was determined not to wake them. Grabbing a clean pair of sweatpants to sleep in and clothes for the following day, he made way his way back to the door. 

Putting his clothing on the coffee table in the living room, he went back down the hall and grabbed a blanket out of the closet. 

Easing his bedroom door open once again, Bellamy walked over to the bed and carefully covered the two blondes in his bed. His hand brushed against Clarkes bare shoulder, and she instantly tensed, pulling Lily tighter against her.

He wondered if that was instinct or a fear reaction. 

Frowning, Bellamy crept out of the room and down the hall to work on his project for a few more hours before going to bed.

~~~~

“You’re up?”

Bellamy looked over his shoulder from where he was standing in front of the stove to see Clarke and Lily standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He nodded, “Yeah, I gotta go out and get some things.” Turning the burner off, he grabbed the two breakfast plates he had made and brought them over to the table. “Do you want me to get you anything while I’m gone?”

Lily stayed behind her mom, still uneasy after the incident the other night. 

“No, thank you. I think we’re all set,” Lily whined softly when Clarke lifted her onto one of the tables chairs. “Are you going to eat with us?” Clarke settled herself at the table, still unsure about where her and Bellamy stood after his confession. And she still wasn’t ready to confront him about it. 

“No, I’m leaving soon. As soon as Raven gets here-”

“We don’t need a babysitter.” Clarke’s voice was sharp as she cut him off, her fork hanging in the air halfway to her mouth with it’s bite of pancake still on it. 

Lily whimpered softly.

His expression softened, “I know you don’t,” moving closer, he put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I just thought you’d appreciate having some company from your best friend.” He knew she thought he’d been saying she was afraid of being alone, and part of him was dead sure that she _was_ a little scared. But he also knew her well enough to know that she’d never admit it. 

Clarke looked down at the plate in front of her, her hair falling like a curtain around her face. “Thank you.”

She’d never admit to being afraid, though Bellamy knew her well enough to know what she’d needed, and what she’d be comfortable with. She’d forgotten what it was like to be around him when she _couldn’t say_ what she needed. He still knew though, he's _always_ known.

Lilys fork clattered on the floor when the doorbell rang. She watched Bellamy turn and leave the room.

“Mama?” 

Clarke looked at the little girl, fear evident in her eyes. “Are we safe?”

That was the last question she was expecting from her five year old daughter, but she’d been through so much in her short little life, that it shouldn’t have been _that_ surprising. “We’re safe Lily.”

“Is Finn coming back?”

Clarke opened her mouth to respond, but before anything came out Raven strolled in with Bellamy right behind her. 

“Hey Clarke, morning Lily.” Raven greeted them, as Lily slid off her chair to sit under the table. 

“Alright, I’ll be back in a bit. And try not to set anything on fire this time Reyes.” Raven and Clarke looked at each other and both burst out laughing, remembering the last time Bellamy had left the two of them alone in his house together and they had nearly set the whole kitchen on fire. Since then, he’d never left the two of them alone in the house.

“Not making any promises!” They both called after him in unison before hearing the front door close behind him. 

 


	11. But this Time was Different

“Go fish!” Lily called excitedly.

Clarke, Raven, and Lily were playing ‘Go Fish’ in the living room together, enjoying their girl time before Bellamy got home. 

She was sitting on the coffee table in front of the two young adults, who weren’t exactly thrilled with where Lily was sitting, but they’d decided she could get away with it for the day.

“I’lll be right back,” Clarke stood as she placed her cards face down in her seat. She had been distracted since Bellamy had left over two hours ago. She needed to go wash her face. All she could think about was how Bellamy had said that he loved her in the hospital, he said he didn’t want her to leave…

She couldn’t focus on their card game.

Stepping into the bathroom, she shut the door behind her and leaned against it, breathing slowly. She had to stop thinking about it, about _him._ He couldn’t have meant it, he was just trying to be nice and comfort her. Taking care of his friends is what he does, even when he doesn't want to. It’s just who he is.

He didn’t mean it.

He _couldn’t_ have meant it.

He just wanted to comfort her.

Running her fingers through her tangled hair, she sighed heavily. No matter what he said, she couldn’t keep leeching off of him. Whether he meant it or not. She had to get herself together, and let Bellamy have his life, and his bed, back. Even if it meant going back to her mothers house for a few days.

Stepping up to the sink, she turned on the water and cupped her hands under the stream, lightly splashing her face. She jumped when there was a soft knock on the door, she turned but before she could answer, it was opening to reveal the man that was causing all her mental confusion.

“Clarke,” he hesitated before continuing and taking a half step inside the bathroom, “are you alright? Raven said you’ve been gone for a while.”

Clarke tensed, trying to figure out if she’s really been in the bathroom for more than just a few minutes. She didn’t think she’d been gone very long, but she didn’t really trust her own judgment at the moment.

Nodding, she and reached behind her, turning the water off without looking away from him. “I’m fine.” She wanted to tell him that she was leaving. She had to.

She didn’t know how to tell him. She had to leave. She didn’t want to, but she couldn’t do this forever.

They stood there in silence for a few minutes, watching each other, before he spoke again. “Are you sure? You look stressed,”

The worry and care in his voice helped push Clarke to find hers.

“I wouldn’t be stressed if you weren’t coddling me and saying what you think I _want_ to hear, what you think I _need_ to hear.” Her gaze hardened, and she lowered her voice so Raven and Lily had no chance of hearing her. “You think I really _believe_ that you want me to stay here? That you still love me like nothings changed between us?”

Clarke took a calming breath before adding, even quieter than before, “Everything’s changed, Bellamy.”

He frowned and took a step closer, shrinking the already too small gap between them, “Clarke, you know I wouldn’t have said that if I didn’t mean it.”

Her mouth fell open in momentary surprise. Her resolve hardened, she couldn’t let herself think about that fact for too long. She shoved at him, before she could start over thinking, walking back towards the living room. "Yeah, right-" Before she could finish, he grabbed her hand, turned her around to face him and gently yanked her back towards him, slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her tightly up against his body. She gasped, her eyes widening in surprise and her hands coming up to press against his chest. He had to lean down to get face to face. Her breathing stuttered as his lips neared hers and he could feel her heart racing.

When he dipped his head down to look her in the eye she caught sight of their reflection in the mirror, and shifted in his arms just enough to get a better view of them.How many times had they been here before? Her freaking out or upset, and him just being there for her in every way he could.

But this time was different.

The bags under her eyes, the fear shining through clear as day in them, the stitches in her stomach from the bullet…

“Bell,” the hard edge to her voice was gone.

This time, _everything was different_.

Clarke couldn’t tear her eyes away from the mirror. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe _so badly_ that he still cared about her like he used to.

She was tired of fighting, tired being made of steel. She spent every waking moment terrified that Finn was going to reappear and try to take her daughter from her. Bellamy was the only one who’d been able to give her any piece of mind that they were safe, he was earning Lily’s trust, and winning over their little girls heart.

Finally caving, she buried her face in his shoulder as he held her. “…Bellamy…” A shuddering breath escaped her. All she could think was that she needed him. She needed his arms around her, needed him to hold her, and wanted him to whisper that they’d find a way to make it work.

“I’m here, Princess. I’m right here.”

She needed him in her life.

Bellamy held her tightly, and kissed the crown of her head. He waited patiently, running his fingers lightly up and down her spine. Calming her. He wasn’t sure what had set her off, but he was going to take care of her, and take her mind off of whatever was bothering her.

Clarke finally pulled out of his arms when he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear some time later, pulling her back to reality.

A reality where she had a daughter waiting for her.

A reality where her father was gone.

A reality where Bellamy was no longer hers to cling to.

Before Bellamy had the chance to question why she had pulled away or what had upset her, Raven stormed into the bathroom through the open door. “Geeze, and here I was worried I was going to find the two of you going at it.” She almost sounded disappointed to be wrong.

Bellamy glared at Raven for interrupting…he wasn’t quite sure what she’d interrupted, but he knew he’d missed his chance to find out as Clarke slipped past her friend and down the hall.

He groaned in frustration, “Thank you Raven,” and glared at her, crossing his arms over his chest.

Shifting her weight to her good leg, she glared right back. “I sent you in here to bring her out, but that’s not why I’m here. I can’t set up the security system if you don’t know where we’re putting the cameras up.”

Nodding, Bellamy followed her back to the living room where the box for the security system and cameras had been abandoned when he arrived home.

~~~~

Lily was trying to lift one of the big boxes he’d left on the floor when he and Raven walked back into the living room. It was too heavy for her.

“Lily, sweetie, don’t play with that.” Bellamy spoke gently as he got closer and picked up the box with the extra cameras in it.

He didn’t see the look of complete shock that Raven sent his way. “Okay, miss engineer. Where’s the best place to start?”

“What is it?” Lily asked as she went back to the coffee table to get her bunny, interrupting Ravens answer.

Bellamy thought for a moment, debating how to answer that. After all, as much as Lily understood, she was still only five. “It will help make the house safe.” It was the best way he could break it down for her.

She nodded, and looked down at her bunny in her arms.

Bellamy watched her for a moment before he and Raven moved to the front door to start setting the security system up.

When Lily spoke again, it was little more than a whisper. “Will Mommy stop being scared now?” Bellamy and Raven both looked at the little girl before sharing a look.

“You wanna go take care of her, and I’ll work on this?” Raven murmured softly.

Bellamy nodded and moved to scoop Lily up.

She took one, hesitant, step back before looking down and letting him pick her up.

Bellamy brought them to his room.

Nudging the door shut, he settled on the bed with her. His back against the headboard. He didn’t try to make her talk, she’d say something when she was ready. Just like her mother.

Lily sat sideways on his lap and watched her bunny, playing gently with one of its ears. She really loved her bunny. She wanted her bunny to make her mommy happy like it made her happy.

“Mommy’s scared,” she looked up at Bellamy.

He saw the tears in her eyes.

“I know,” He started, “But the other night when she asked you to hide, it was very scary. Your mommy was very brave and very smart. Because of her, you’re both safe now.”

Lily laid her head against him. That night was really scary. She didn’t know if her mama was going to come back.

He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her a little closer to him, “She’s scared Lily. You are right about that. But she’s scared because she thought Finn was going to hurt you, or take you with him.” He ran his fingers through her hair, unsure if he was doing the right thing by telling her these thing’s, but Lily was scared too. He thought she deserved to know.

“I don’t want him to hurt Mama.” Lily whispered softly, bringing one hand to the bottom of his shirt and holding it gently, rubbing the soft and worn fabric between her little fingers.

“Finn is not going to hurt her. And he won’t hurt you either. Me and your mommy are going to keep you safe.”

Lily looked up at him again, sniffling softly, “Who’s going to keep Mommy safe?”

“I will.” He would always protect Clarke.

“You’ll keep Mommy safe?”

He nodded, leaning down to tentatively kiss the crown of her her head. “I’m going to keep you _and_ your mommy safe.” He murmured into her hair. It was a promise to her. Whether the little blonde knew it or not. But it was also a promise to himself. He wasn’t going to let his girls get hurt.

Not again, not if he could help it.


	12. It Was Time for A Change

After pulling away from Bellamy, Clarke went and sat outside. A storm had been moving in all morning, and it seemed like it had finally arrived. Going around the side of the house, she sat down heavily against the wall with a tired sigh. Letting her head fall back, it thumped gently against the siding behind her.

The rain finally started, a little more than a mist.

The problem wasn’t that she no longer believed Bellamy had just been trying to help her. In all honesty, she know knew that he _really_ wanted her to stay, and that he honestly still cared about her. 

That second part was harder for her to wrap her head around. How could he _know_ that he still loved her, when she hadn’t given him any reason to. 

It had been so long. 

She didn’t understand how Bellamys feelings hadn’t changed after all the years she’d been away. _He_ had changed. _She_ had changed. Hell, she had created a whole other person. 

The rain fell harder, the wind sending it down on an angle so the edge of the roof was no longer sheltering her.

Clarke knew if she gave in to him, gave in to staying there with him, that he’d find out that she was still keeping things from him. She wasn’t ready for him to find out everything.

The two of them needed to sit down and have a conversation. About the last six years. About Lily. About where they stood. And that night...

If Clarke gave in and stayed, she knew there would be no avoiding that conversation. She wasn’t ready for it. At all. 

~~~~

After that day, Bellamy had switched to days at the police department instead of nights. The security system was set up, with pins for Bellamy and Clarke, and new locks had been put on the doors. Bellamy made a copy of the key for everyone, since the door would be locked from that day forward. 

Two weeks later, Clarke was a the park with Lily. It was warm and sunny, and Clarke had decided it was time for Lily to start trying to make friends. For the first hour or so Lily stayed in the section of the playground made for kids under three years old and wouldn’t let Clarke sit.

But Clarke didn’t mind, this was new territory for Lily. She new it was only a matter of time before Lily would be comfortable with it. She was really enjoying the small slide, laughing every time she made it to the bottom. 

“Hi…” A little girl around Lilys age had made her way over. 

Lily froze at the top of the small slide, frozen. “Lily, can you say hi?” 

She waved slightly. 

“Do you want to play with me?” The little girl asked. 

Lily looked up at her mom, who nodded encouragingly. “Okay…” she slid down the slide and walked over to the other girl. 

“I’m Emma,” she reached a hand out, and when Lily took it she laughed. “Come on,” 

Clarke watched Emma lead Lily over to the rest of the playground, and it wasn’t long before they had started a game of tag. 

Making her way over to a bench, Clarke got comfortable and watched the girls play. 

“Hey Princess,” when she turned around and saw Bellamy standing there, she managed to give him half a smile. She’d kept her interactions with Bellamy small since she’d decided that she was going to stay with him for a while longer.

He walked around the bench and sat next to her. “Penny for your thoughts?” 

She ignored him, not knowing what he wanted her to say. 

“Hey,” he put a gentle hand on her thigh, “are you okay? You’ve been acting different lately.”

Meeting his gaze, she debated telling him. She hated keeping things from him, at the very least they were best friends. “Bell-”

“Mommy!”

Clarke and Bellamy’s heads whipped in the direction of the cry. Clarke sprang to her feet and hurried over to where it had come from. When she heard footsteps, she realized that Bellamy was right behind her. 

“Mommy, help me!” Lily was at the top of a tall slide, with the only ways down being the slide itself or a rope ladder. 

“I’ll get her, Clarke.” And with that said, Bellamy started up the rope ladder. Clarke walked around to the bottom of the slide. It was only a moment later that she saw Bellamy sitting at the top with Lily on his lap. He slid them down nice and slow, so he wouldn’t further scare her. 

“What happened? Where’d Emma go?” Clarke asked as she pulled Lily into her arms as Bellamy got to his feet . 

“I got scared…” she laid her head on her moms shoulder, holding on tightly. 

“It’s okay sweetie. How about we go back to the house and have a snack?” Clarke asked, already walking in the direction of the house, away from Bellamy.

“Would you girls like a ride?” Bellamy asked, catching up with the blondes. “My lunch break is almost over, but I’ve got enough time to bring you back home.”

“I don’t wanna walk Mama.” Lily whispered against her moms neck.

Stopping, Clarke turned to look at Bellamy and offered a hint of a smile, “Thank you.”

Once they were all settled in his truck, they started home. 

“So, I got a call from Marcus Kane this morning. He wanted me to convince you to go have dinner there this week.”

Clarke looked over at Bellamy and raised an eyebrow. “And he called _you_ about this _why…_?”

Bellamy glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes when he stopped at a stop sign before continuing on. “Because you never answer your phone when either of them call.”

She shrugged before turning to look at Lily in the back seat. Her daughter was contently watching the world fly by on the other side of the window. 

“Clarke?” Bellamy asked as he pulled into the driveway, parking, and turning to look at her. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it Bellamy,” and she jumped out of the car and quickly helped Lily out and into the house. 

~~~~

Clarke and Lily were curled up on the couch watching a movie together when Bellamy walked through the front door carrying Chinese take out. “Hey girls, I brought dinner.”

Reaching forward for the remote, Clarke paused the movie. “Go wash your hands Lily,”

She looked up at her mom, “Can we eat and watch the movie?”

“Sure thing Lily, but you have to do as your mom asked and go wash your hands first.” Bellamy spoke as he moved to the coffee table and started opening the takeout containers.  

Letting out a happy little squeal, Lily ran off to the bathroom to wash her hands. 

He looked up at Clarke to find her glaring at him. “What did I do this time?” He asked innocently before wandering into the kitchen to get bowls and silverware. 

“She doesn’t need to have her dinner in front of the TV. She can eat it at the kitchen table.”

“It’s fine.” He strolled back into the living room. “It’s not like this will be an everyday thing. It’s just a nice treat for her.”

Rolling her eyes at him, she settled back onto the couch. 

“Thinking of dinner…have you thought about going to have dinner at your moms house?” 

Almost as if mentioning it had set off an alarm somewhere, Clarke’s phone began to ring where it was, face up on the coffee table. 

“Here’s the thing Clarke, if you go have dinner and get it over with, then she’ll leave you alone for a while.” 

Clarke watched him as she reached for her phone. Her thumb hovered over the decline button, letting what Bellamy said sink in. “Fine.” And with that, she stood and walked down the hall as she answered the phone. 

“Hi mom,”

“Clarke,” Abby sounded shocked. “I wasn’t expecting you to pick up.”

Clarke shut the bedroom door behind her and made her way over to the desk by the window. She sat on the edge of the desk, mentally preparing for the worst. “I can hang up if you’d like?” 

“No, no. I’m glad you answered.” Abby paused for a minute, trying to decide what she wanted to say. “You should come over and have dinner with us sometime…Marcus and I miss you.” 

“Fine,” Clarke wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. She hadn’t faced her mom since she got out of the hospital after Finn shot her. “Tomorrow night.” It wasn’t a question. 

Abby took a moment to respond, and Clarke used that silence to say what she wanted to. “We’ll be over after Bellamy gets out of work. Now I have to go, we were just sitting down to eat dinner.” Hanging up on her mother, she took a deep breath. 

That was that. She was going to her mothers. 

Getting back to her feet, Clarke went out to join Bellamy and Lily.

After dinner had been cleaned up, and the movie had ended, Lily was in the bathroom brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed. Clarke leaned in the doorway, watching her daughter with a small smile on her lips. 

“Lily,” called Bellamy, Clarke looked over her shoulder to see him standing at the far end of the hall. 

Lily poked her head around the doorframe, watching him.

“I have a surprise for you.” Her whole face lit up. 

“What is it?”

“I have to show you, come here.” 

“Can I Mama?” Lily asked hopefully, looking up at her mom who was still leaning in the doorway. 

Nervously, Clarke nodded to her daughter who immediately ran down the hall. Slowly, she followed after the little girl to see what Bellamy was up to.

Opening the door, he stepped to the side so Lily could go in. The walls of the bedroom were a soft purple with gray trim, the closet had hangers ready on the bar and a mirror mounted to the door, a twin bed against the wall opposite the closet, was on a painted metal frame with a white canopy hanging from the ceiling around the head of the bed, the window seat across from the door had fluffy and fuzzy pillows in a corner of the seat along with a few other stuffed animals. 

Lily walked over to the window seat and carefully looked at the stuffed animals there, before moving over to the bed and climbing on it. Petting the fluffy comforter, she smiled before getting on her knees and bouncing gently. It was a really squishy bed. 

“Bellamy, what are you doing?” Clarke choked out as she watched her daughter explore the bedroom. It had been Octavias room when her and Clarke had been kids. 

“Who sleeps here?” Lily was watching the two adults. 

“I thought this could be where you sleep.” Bellamy started gently, before turning to Clarke, to finish explaining. “I thought she might like having her own room, and bed. That way you could have my room, maybe get a good night sleep-” 

“No, if anything, Lily and I can sleep in here so you can have your bed back.” 

Bellamy shook his head at her slowly, a smile creeping across his lips. “Lily, why don’t you go get your pajamas on?” Clarke watched her daughter slide off the bed and make her way back to the other bedroom to go change. “Now, Princess, I want you-”

“Bell, I can’t keep taking your bed. It’s been weeks now-” 

“I don’t care Clarke,” he spoke quietly, placing his hands on her shoulders. “If my sleeping on the couch worries you so much, we could always share my bed. It’s more than big enough for both of us to have our own space. I would’ve offered sharing sooner, but I thought you’d be more comfortable having the bed to yourself.”

Clarke stood there, speechless, for a few moments. 

“Mama, I’m tired.” Looking down at Lily, Clarke frowned slightly, her eyebrows furrowing when she saw what her daughter was wearing. 

Since they’d been released from the hospital, Lily had taken to wearing Clarkes old shirts to bed. They were much too big for her, but the little girl loved it. Though, the shirt she had chosen to wear that night, wasn’t one of her moms. “Lily, sweetie…” Clarke picked her up and took a closer look at the shirt. 

“That’s my shirt,” Bellamy chuckled, smiling at the two blondes in front of him.

“I’ll wash it tomorrow…goodnight Bellamy.” And with that, Clarke slipped inside the room, and shut the door behind her, sighing softly. Moving over to the bed, she folded the blankets back and settled Lily amongst the pillows.

“Mommy…” she mumbled, already half asleep. She didn’t have her bunny, Clarke noticed. She wondered where it’d been left. 

“Shh, baby, it’s time to sleep.” She’d had a long day. They both had. Clark laid down next to her daughter, humming softly as the little girl fell asleep. 


End file.
